Sumo-Mama

It’s Monday!

If you’re in need of some entertainment or a pick-me-up, read on. It’s another dream post and this one is pretty insane.

The majority of the dream revolved around a very sweet Oritental girl. She drove people around to various sections of a casino/bar/club. She ended up taking James and Little James somewhere…why my husband was taking my son inside a casino, I have no idea, but I’m just glad it was a dream.

After that, the girl seems upset and I coax her to tell me what’s wrong. Turns out she has a faint black line under her eye that she says causes her to kill everyone she comes into relatively close contact with. I don’t know what the deal with that is, but I guess it was filled wtih some kind of voodoo magic. She’s distraught because she doesn’t want to kill my husband and son, but she always gives in to whatever the magic is that makes her do it.

So I have to stop her, right? I shoved her into a bathroom and was planning on locking her into a stall when I noticed that she crapped on herself – EW, right?

That has to be because of the potty-training difficulty I have with my girls…anyway, I picked this grown, pooptacular woman up and carried her into the stall and ordered her to get on the toilet and stay there. I watched to make sure she didn’t get away and she told me that her weakness was bleach. Yes, bleach. What did I do? I doused her with some bleach that just materialized out of nowhere. Then I stood there and watched her some more until her mother came in.

Her huge sumo-mama. Her huge sumo-mama with the 2 thick, dark black lines under her eyes that apparently means she thoroughly enjoys killing people. I ended up fighting her, but this is the funny part: her weakness is bleach, too. But I couldn’t just douse her with bleach.

I found a bottle of Herbal Essences conditioner, poured it into an Herbal Essences shampoo bottle and mixed that with the bleach and gold glitter of all things. I guess I thought it needed to be pretty? And the Herbal Essences? Well, I love that stuff and I’ve been out of conditioner for over a week now and even my subconscious is missing me having soft, shiny hair.

After that, we commenced the fighting and I kept grabbing her legs and pulling her down. The Earth would shake as she fell and she DID fall….every single time. Somehow I won the fight with the sumo-mama. That made her like me so she started laughing and tickling me (?) before she got off the ground and disappeared.

The scene rematerialized into my grandaddy’s house and a lot of our family (plus some twins that I have no idea who they are) were there. It looked as if they were getting together for a funeral. The twins I don’t know accused me of “running off on my own” and I said something about how I didn’t consider going to Florida, Alabama and Georgia “running off” because I have family in all of those places. After that, we dug a hole in the ground, found a trunk full of old stuff that belonged to my uncle Howell and I pointed it out to my mom. She came out with an apron on while mixing up a bowl of something I assumed was cookies which is hilarious and strange because my mom doesn’t cook often at all and if she was going to make cookies, it wouldn’t be in a bowl like that…it would be a package that she opens and spoons out onto a pan. She told us to cover the box back up, she knew it was there. Everyone was acting as if my uncle was dead when he was there at the get-together. It was all very strange.

That’s all the dream sharing I’m doing today! I hope you were at least slightly amused. I’m taking my booty to bed now. Guten Morgen, Guten Tag, Guten Nacht – wherever you are and whatever time it is.

Care to share any weird dreams of your own?

 

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