Dear Yankees

Dear Yankees,

Just because we us Southerners talk slow doesn’t don’t mean we’re we’s stupid. Ya hear!?

Okay I’ll cut it out, but seriously – it’s true! We’re not stupid. We just have extremely unique, colorful & fun ways of expressing ourselves! Mark Twain even said, “Southerners talk music!”

We have a Southernism for everything. I took the liberty of making a list & to make it interesting, in subsequent posts, I’m going to attempt to use one of these per post until I’ve gone through the whole list. I’ll link the Southernism back to this post just so I can keep track of how many I’ve used.

Feel free to add your own in the comments.

1.) “Is a frog’s a$$ water tight?” Meaning= Duh, of course, or do you really have to ask?

2.) “I’m sweatin’ like a hooker in church!” Meaning= self-explanatory

3.) (Compliments of my husband—>) “It’s colder than a witch’s t!t in a brass bra!” Meaning= Really Frickin’ Cold!

4.) “He’s country as a bowl of grits.” Or “Country as a turnip green.”

5.) “He’s dumber than a bag of hammers.” Or a door knob or a brick or any number of inanimate objects. The funny thing about this expression is that the person I got it from had written it like this: “He’s dummer than a bag of hammers.” And I decided to write back:

Dear Idgit,

Take “He’s” & turn it into “I’m” & then say it in the mirror.

Signed, 

Someone who is certainly not dumber than you

He didn’t get it.

Totally kidding. I would never insult someone over one mis-spelled word. I make so many typos it’s ridiculous so I have no room to talk. I was just taking liberties to be humerous 😀

6.) “That stinks so bad it’d knock a buzzard off a gut wagon!”

7.) “I’ll hit you in the adam’s apple so hard you’ll be spittin’ cider for a week!”

8.) “That’s 10 pounds of sh@! in a 5 pound bag.” Meaning=it’s bullsh!toke’ mushrooms OR you can say it when you feel really sick. Which, by the way, I’ve already said that I feel like 10 pounds of poo in a 5 pound bag so can we mark that off my list of Southernisms to use in posts?

9.)  “That makes about as much sense as tata’s on a tree.” (Or any other inanimate object you can think of. Brass monkey, lawn mower, toilet brush, ect.)

10.) “You only got one oar in the water.” Meaning=Not all there. One fry short of a happy meal, not the brightest crayon in the box, his elevator don’t go all the way to top, ect.

11.) “He’s busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kickin’ contest.

12.) “Ain’t nobody gonna mess on me & call it apple butter!

13.) “You can get glad the same way you got mad or you’re gonna die unhappy.”

14.) “I’ll knock you to the middle of next week & you’ll be lookin’ both ways for Sunday!”

15.) “She had a hissy fit with a tail on it!” The “tail on it” part indicates a degree. I guess it’s worse than just havin’ a plain ol’ hissy fit.

16.) “What does that havta do with the price of tea in China?

Alright folks, I’m done for now! Gotta go edit some pictures 🙂 There’s plenty more “music” to be “talked” so add some of your own in the comments!

Y’all come back now, ya hear!

UPDATE (2/9/2012): The ones I’ve used, I’m going to highlight and link back to the post in red. I can’t keep this stuff straight otherwise 😉

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6 thoughts on “Dear Yankees

  1. Pingback: I Believe Apple Butter + Poo + C4 – Toilet Paper = A Really Bad Day « Bethylicious

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