Chick Troubleshooting: Volume 1

Computers are a lot more like people than we realize. Lemme s’plain.

Ever feel like your “special lady” (Terry Bellfleur again!) should come with a trouble-shooting manual a lot like the one built into your computer’s hard drive? My husband & I were talking & he said he’d like it if he had a wife manual (Hello Anniversary Present!!!) so I decided to put my own little spin on it. For some of us, electronics are far less complicated than other humans so I’m doing my troubleshooting manual in a dialect you gamers can better understand.

Here’s my take on what to do if your honey isn’t operating regularly &/or to optimize her performance. Feel free to help me add to the list in the comments or request a different problem for me to address in the next post—> I’m going to focus on one problem, the causes & the fixes for it. I’ll add a new “Troubleshooting Manual” with a new problem/solution every week until further notice.

Problem of the Day: The lady is running slow.

What May Cause Problem:

1.) Hard disk is cluttered with too many temporary, unnecessary files.

Quick Fix 1: Help empty out those old files. She talks, you listen. <—I swear to gravy if you open your mouth to say anything other than “I understand” or its equivalent, this “fix” will backfire on you. Just. Shut. Up.

The whole time her mouth is moving, it’s like you’re pressing the delete key in her brain. Or at the very least, running a highly effective defrag.

You may also try the following:

  • Take the kids for a while
  • Help with household chores
  • Cook dinner
  • Run her a hot bath
  • Give her a massage
  • Give her a thoughtful gift that says you appreciate her
  • Don’t complain – Just be supportive!

If all else fails, ask her what she needs. If she knows, she’ll tell you. (If she knows & doesn’t tell you, that’s a whole new troubleshooting problem.) And if she doesn’t know, it generally means she needs a break that lasts longer than 30 minutes so she can have time to figure it out. If possible, try to plan for her to have an entire day (or better yet, a few of them!) to do whatever she wants with. Tell her ahead of time so she can plan for them & try to make the necessary arrangements for the kids, work, ect. so that she’ll have less to worry about. If that’s not possible & nothing else is working, click Restart & pray.

2.) Left over programs & bad files.

Quick Fix 2: If you did Quick Fix 1 & you’re still having problems, maybe you didn’t delete the right files. Run a scan to see if there is any malware poisoning her hard-disk: Examples: Ex-boyfriend/Ex-husband/Ex-Anything Issues still lingering in her hard-drive. Ex issues=Bad files. Deal with them or you’ll keep troubleshooting the same problems with no real effects. If the bad left-overs are from you, repeat Quick Fix 1 regularly until the end of time.

3.) Data Corruption.

Quick Fix 3: You said, “Not right now.” She heard, “I don’t have time for you because you’re not important to me. GO AWAY.” Find out what stuff she’s hanging on to that isn’t exactly…in tact or correct. Delete it so she can move the bad stuff out & take the good stuff in.

4.) Outdated Drivers or Missing Updates

Quick Fix 4: Women change. Don’t treat her like you did when you were 16 if she’s not 16 anymore. Check with her every so often to see if certain things have changed in a particular area. Tell her you notice a change when it occurs. Women like to be noticed. Also, she’s not a mind-reader so yes, you have to tell her. Whether the change is positive or negative, she needs to know that you pay enough attention to her to know when something is different. Stay updated on what’s going on with her & there are some drive(r)s that will stay just as active as they’ve always been. šŸ˜‰

5.) Overheating

Less-Than-Quick Fix 5: You either made her really mad or she’s about to visit the land of menopause. Either way, tread carefully. She’s not an old-school Nintendo; you can’t blow in her mouth (or her ear) and viola! problem solved!Ā  Ā  No random keystrokes! (i.e – don’t try to touch her!) You wait for prompts! (i.e – you wait ’til she gives you the O.K! For EVERYTHING – Or she may murder you.) You do this until she cools down. Then you can try any of the Quick Fix’s above. Preferably, all of them.

6.) Corrupt Operating System

Quick Time-Consuming Fix 6: She’s not operating normally because her whole system is off (i.e – depression or some other health issue). It happens when you have too much craptastic crap on your plate. Be nice, hold her, take her to the doctor and see if he can fix her up. Just be patient & supportive while she reboots.

7.) Bad Hardware

Quick Time-Consuming Fix 7: Something’s going on that she can’t work with. In this case, maybe the problem isn’t her &Ā you need to go to the doc with her to get yourself…”rebooted”. Just sayin’.

So in a nut shell, here are the basic troubleshooting steps we just covered:

Reboot, Scan for malware, Clean Disk Space, Update software & drivers, Install more better clean new memory. See a pro if you can’t fix it on your own.

For additions or suggestions on what to troubleshoot next, visit the comments section; comments make me happy in my heart. ā¤

 

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3 thoughts on “Chick Troubleshooting: Volume 1

  1. Pingback: Google Is A Mind-reader « Bethylicious

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