I Shall Call Him…Sparky

Thank God it’s FRIDAY.

I don’t know why I’m thanking God for Friday in particular because it’s not like this has been a hellishly stressful week in which I looked forward to Friday like it was the end of the plague or something. As a matter of fact, my entire week has been filled with Friday-like Bliss. I can attribute every single bit of that to Sparky my husband. So, on second thought, rather than thanking God it’s Friday, I’d rather thank him for the gift he blessed me with in James. (Feel free to vomit a little if you need to – I know the ooey-gooey sweetness is probably killing you. But be warned; it isn’t over yet. If you don’t have a strong stomach, it may be best to retreat now.)

I love this man. He is rough around the edges; sometimes…really rough. He’s blunt & often times he’s even downright crass. He says things that might be a little bit a-lotta-bit inappropriate for the time, place &/or present company. But he’s also open, honest & never hides himself from people. You rarely have to guess where you stand. He doesn’t pretend to be anything he isn’t. And his choice of words…well…they grow on you.

He gets moody, he does senseless things that I will never even pretend to understand (like yelling at the TV) & sometimes, he drives me absolutely, insane-crazy. But married people are supposed to do that to eachother, right? I’m sure he feels the same way about me because nobody is perfect – how boring would it if we were? Those aren’t the things that matter.

He’s also strong, reliable & trustworthy. He’s always there when I need him & he has never failed to amaze me in how he goes above & beyond for those he loves. He works hard without complaint. He loves our children to the ends of the earth & back & he may not always show that love in the way others think he should, but he has his own way. He sacrifices so much for them (& for me). He’s tough on them when he needs to be, but he can be just as gentle as he is stern when the occasion calls for it. We don’t always agree, but when that happens, he’s careful not to over-ride anything I say without talking to me about it first.

Story Telling...

I know that I’m blessed to have a man like him in my life at all, let alone get to spend every single day with him. Our days are not always perfect marital bliss. We don’t get along like two peas in a pod all the time – we fight, we bicker, we have moments where we hardly talk at all – & our relationship is hard work just like anyone else’s. But it’s hard work that is so beyond worth it. When we have those not-so-great moments, I know that it’ll be okay because we’re strong enough to make it through them. I know that one fight, no matter how big or small, isn’t going to make or break us. I know that I can go three whole days being so mad at him that I could spit fire, but once we actually get to a point where we can talk about it, he won’t yell at me. He won’t belittle me. He won’t threaten me. He won’t even make me feel bad about being an insufferable cow to him in the days before. I know he’ll listen to what I have to say & take it to heart. And he won’t even laugh at the snot constantly dribbling out of my nose. ( Thank God for that. :/ ) Instead of arguing that everything is my fault when I have an issue about something (like some people tend to do as a defense mechanism) he takes the blame all on himself, telling me he’ll try to do better; even if it’s something we both know is not his fault or his responsibility to fix, he’ll try to because he’s that kind of man. He’s the kind of person who wants to do whatever is in his power to make things better for someone he loves. This is a trait I frequently undervalue since it can make me feel like he’s insinuating that I’m incapable of solving my own problems when I’m not. He know’s I’m not incapable, too & I know it’s not his intention to make me feel that way; he just wants to make life a little easier for me. It’s something I have a hard time remembering, but I’m getting there.

Sorry if this offends you, but this is my man...lol. It becomes endearing after a while.

To look at him or talk to him once, you don’t really get to see the whole, awesome package. You get a tiny little glimpse…enough to make you think one of two things:

A.) Eh…he’s a pretty cool guy. Or B.) What. An. A-hole.

He knows it’s true! But that first impression, whether it be good, bad or in between cannot come anywhere near what he really is. Every now & then he talks like he’s the biggest badass that ever lived & he can even look like it, too, but once you get to know him you find out that he’s got this gigantic heart. He’s loyal & honorable. He is exactly the kind of man that I want my son to grow up to be.

I know it’s not Father’s Day or even Valentines’ Day yet, but I don’t believe in only celebrating the ones you love on some governmentally-fabricated, commercial holiday. We don’t have our loved ones for long & a few times a year is not nearly enough to show them the kind of appreciation & admiration they deserve so I’m taking this awesome Friday to tell my hubby how much he means to me. Weird that it’s on my blog when I could just tell him, right? But I’m not really good with words. Okay well…I’m not good with spoken words so I have to write it down.

He’s helped me out so much this week & he has been so thoughtful that it kinda blows my mind (as those of you who have seen my recent FB statuses know), but it’s not the whole reason I’m posting this. I need to remember to love & appreciate the gifts God has given me even during the times when they don’t feel so much like gifts. James is one of those blessings that I take for granted even when I try really hard not to. It’s always going to happen to some degree or another because that’s just the nature of people, but this is my public declaration (& reminder to myself) of how wonderfully I have it. I don’t mean to brag, but what can I say? If you’ve got it, flaunt it. Take whatever moments you can to cherish all the good things & people in your life because you don’t get forever with them.

I’m going to end this post with a list of things I’m thankful for (aside from what I’ve already written above) about my extraordinary hubby. You don’t have to read it because it might make your boyfriend/hubs/SO look like a total douchebag & send you into a heart-breaking depression but at least think about making your own list of things to be thankful for with your “someone special.” I think we spend way too much time focusing on negative things when there are all these fantastic, happy things we can celebrate!

James & I when we first started dating. He was 19. I was 16. He's hot, right? 😛
  •  I love that he doesn’t badger me about the house. I clean & clean & clean, but somehow it always gets messy again and yet he never comes in with a bad attitude about it. If it gets overwhelming for me, he’ll help & if he really wants something done but can’t help (or if he’s just being lazy & doesn’t want to <—see, I’m realistic…) he’ll ask me rather than demand it of me.
  • He doesn’t complain when I drop my June Cleaver & forget to take something out for dinner. Even when it’s 5pm & he’s dead tired, not to mention hungry, from working. He just takes something out & fixes it himself or happily accepts the cheap hotdogs & macaroni I make without complaint. This happens way more often than I care to admit.
  • He has this weird thing that he does where he refuses to eat until I fix my plate. It gets on my nerves sometimes, but I appreciate the sentiment. It’s just another way that he puts me first…who could argue with that?
  • He makes my plate at dinner for me more often than I fix his. The longer this list gets, the more like a domestic-failure I feel, lol.
  • He cooks. A lot.
  • He brings me breakfast in bed.
  • He recently cleaned almost the whole house for me. Including laundry. Did I mention that he let me sleep in & didn’t even ask me to help with the cleaning? It was unspeakably wonderful to be able to do all the work I had to do uninterrupted & without having to worry about all these other wife & mommy-related things. I’ve had such a peaceful week because of you, James Dean. ❤
  • He acknowledges it when I work hard at something. Example: I told him thank you for all the things he did around the house recently & his reply was “it’s okay, baby. You do it all the time.” Then he told me that he needs to help me out more. I know, I know…you want my James now….go get your own.
  • He backs me up where the kids are concerned & if they forget their manners towards me, it’s a miracle if I can reprimand them before he does.
  • If I tell him I need a break, I get one no questions asked.
  • He shaves his scruffy, brillo-pad of a beard just for me even though he really likes it. Yeah, he lets it grow out for a really long time and rubs it all over me just to aggravate me, but eventually, he’ll shave it. Usually when he wants something, but you take what you can get, right?
  • He gives the best hugs ever.
  • I’m thankful that I have a husband who actually wants to spend time with me. If I work too long on pictures or anything else, he’s quick to tell me he wants me to stop & do something with him. Isn’t that usually the other way around?
  • He got dressed up & took me to military balls just because I wanted to go even though he hates wearing a suit. It gave me an excuse to get all pretty-fied, too 😀
  • I love his unique choice of words about things. It’s not exactly the most romantic thing in the world, but it has its own charm. This is how he asked me out the first time: “So…you wanna be my girl, or what?” Yeah…that really happened.
  • I love his fearlessness.
  • He rarely comes at me with an attitude about things. He’s always polite in the way he asks me to do things, making it a request or a question rather than a demand. Sometimes he does seem to have an attitude, but it’s how he expresses frustration with a situation; not with me. It took me a while to learn that one, but it was a good thing because my calling him out on it helped him learn how to talk to me in a more acceptable way & it helped me learn not to take everything with him so personal. (Something I’m still working on actually.)
  • I love that he never quits
  • I love when he brags to people about me. Who wouldn’t love that, right? Actually, I wish he did that more, lol. Yeah…you read that right, Sparky! I am awesome…go ahead & tell all your friends 😉

There are a ton of other things that I could list here, but it might be wise if I actually spent some time with the man I’ve spent 2 hours brag-blogging about this morning. It feels great to acknowledge one’s blessings…I’m about to go do just that in the form of (the best) hugs (ever) & lounging around on a very comfy couch with the person I was fortunate enough to somehow finagle into falling in love with & marrying me. Hopefully whatever juju magic I did won’t wear off anytime soon.

All that just to say this:

Dear James,

I love you. A lot. A whole lot. There are not enough words to tell you how much even though I just used an abundance of them. I’m wordy & you love me anyway. =) Thank you for all that you do & all that you endure to make my life the blessing it’s been. I hope that I can be even half as good to you as you’ve always been to me.

XOXO

P.S. You rock my mismatched socks 🙂

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7 thoughts on “I Shall Call Him…Sparky

  1. Oh my God, I love this post! And that pic of you two when you were teenagers is adorable : ) I’m also blessed in the man department, and for many of the same reasons: he never complains if I haven’t got my June Cleaver hat on, he helps out in so many ways, and he always has my back. I may cry… seriously though, for all the crappy times we go through as couples, it is important to cherish the really important things. I always say it’s the little gestures done consistently that make the difference: my man always makes me a sandwich or coffee if he is fixing one for himself, he helps with my daughter even though he has zero experience with kids, and even though she is disabled, is a gigantic softie and loves and adores her to bits, which is just so special to find. I’m giving this post a big fat AWWWWW!!

    http://www.cakesandshakes.wordpress.com

    • Thank you for reading & for your comment! The sorry guys are always the ones that get all the attention and I thought some love for the good ones (that we were fortunate enough to find 😀 ) was way overdue 🙂

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