My minions are funny little people.
This is an abridged version of a conversation I had with my oldest female minion tonight: (For the sake of humor & a tiny semblance of privacy, we’ll call her Minion #2. Minion #1 is my son & Minion #3 is my youngest daughter.) <—obviously.
Minion #2: Mommy! Minion #3 just said a bad word!
Me: Did she really say a bad word or did she say ‘stupid’ or something like that? (Note: I asked this because they frequently tell me ‘stupid’, ‘dumb’ & ‘butt’ are bad words)
Minion #2: No, she said Sh!t!
Me: *Deep breath* Minion #3, you can’t say the bad word either. I know I asked you what she said, but you could have said “the S word” instead of actually saying it.
Minion #2: Oh. Or I could have said ‘the D word, the H word or the F word?’
Me: Yes. *Shakes my head at how many bad words my 6 yr old apparently knows.*
Minion #2: Are there other bad words?
Minion #2: Can you tell me ’em?
Me: *Holding back a laugh* Why would I tell you a bunch of words you aren’t supposed to say!? No I’m not gonna tell you that!
Now, someone please tell me why in the world I would give a child a break-down of all the horrible things I don’t want them to say?
Minion #3 saw a stray dog out in our backyard today and being the compassionate little child that she is said, “Aw! Mommy, that poor doggie doesn’t have any parents.” She said this in her most pitiful voice, too. Broke my heart and made me laugh all at the same time.
Minion #1 is under the impression that he is going to get snakes tattooed up and down his arms. He has the temporaries on right now. I can’t wait until he shows those babies off to his Nanna. She’ll jump out of her skin and run half-way across the world before he can even get out the words “they’re fake!” I’m hoping his desire to get fanged reptiles forever imbedded into his skin will wear off with time; hopefully that time will consist of three days. Or less.
I mostly just posted this because I had a very demanding urge to write. The problem is that I have little to write about at the moment. I need inspiration & I’m finding that I’m running a little low this week. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve been feeling – for lack of a better term – BLAH tonight. I was fine until the hubs got home and I discovered that he was in an incredibly bad mood and somehow between that and Minion #2 getting into my purse, wasting my makeup and sprinkling bright green glitter all over the van that we’re currently renting while our car is in the shop [seriously, it looked like Edward Cullen peed everywhere] …my mood just plummeted. It happens though. Kids do those kinds of things and then 20 minutes later, they’re making you smile again. While I might want to post THIS PICTURE with the caption “SOMEBODY SHOOT ME”, I won’t. When I die, I want to be remembered as an optimist… :p