.357s & Bigotry; Dangerous Combination

Monday: looks disgruntled.

Tuesday: looks smugly between Monday & Wednesday.

Wednesday: is plain jealous.

Monday: *takes off his black-rimmed coke-bottle glasses, snatches his pants down to his knees & put on his “gangface”* Why you actin’ like you Friday, Tuesday? You ain’t bad.

Tuesday: looks at Monday like he’s lost his marbles. “Thug” doesn’t suit you, Monday. Just stop. 

Monday: nervously readjusts pants & places glasses back on. Leaves his gold tooth in…

Wednesday: Stupid as he sounds, he’s got a point. You’re being awfully snooty, Tuesday. What have you done now?

Tuesday: whistles innocently. Oh nothing. It’s just that I kick the  of everything on either side of me. I don’t get too many days to revel in awesomeness so excuse me if I’m trying to milk it.

Monday: Well can you hurry up and get all that pretentious bull-dookie out of your system? I’m ready to get back to our regularly scheduled blandness, thank you very much. *briefly flashes gold tooth*

Friday & Saturday (in unison): Bland!? Speak for yourself!

Monday: rolls eyes.

Tuesday: Fine. I was Bethy’s 8th anniversary. Beat THAT!

Wednesday: Okay, I will. Wasn’t it Monday who got the Anniversary title last year? Big whoop, Tuesday. Nobody cares. Also, you are the one that a certain unforgettable Autobahn Fiasco belongs to so I wouldn’t feel too self-important.

Tuesday: bristles. That’s not the only thing! I’m the one who gave her the whole day with her husband!

Monday: Uh uh. I believe that was her parents, Tuesday. You didn’t give birth to her did you? You didn’t watch her children did you?

Tuesday: says nothing.

Monday: Didn’t think so.

Tuesday: I’m still special. All that happened on ME! And, she got 2 amazing other things so *sticks tongue out at other days of the week*

Thursday: Well I don’t care what you say, Tuesday. I’m more special than all of you because I am Vampire Diaries day. Tell me; what beats that in Bethyland?

All other days of the week: look down despairingly  in unison.

Friday: If I remember correctly, Thursday – right now, your Top of the List Awesomness is on hiatus until March 15th so don’t get cocky. There’s plenty of room for the rest of us to get put at the top of the list while you’re chillin’ at the bottom.

Thursday: runs off to find Katherine & devise a masterful plan to regain the title of ‘Bethy’s Favorite Day of the Week’.

End Scene.

That was getting tedious. By the way, Thursday will resume its usual place of prominence on my list of favorites on March 15th & no earlier. Unless, of course, Ian Somerhalder shows up at my doorstep on a Thursday – then I’ll immortalize that day in my heart forever. [And I’ll probably pee a little, too.]

Why don’t I just tell you that yesterday was the most amazing day ever (other than my minions being born) and be done with it? Well, mostly because that would be boring, nobody would read it and because I already wasted 30 minutes coming up with that ‘The Days of the Week Personified’ nonsense.

But to give a quickish recap of why yesterday was great, here are some highlights:

  • It was mine & the hubby’s 8 year anniversary (as previously mentioned)
  • I got to spend the whole day uninterrupted with my husband and we actually had fun rather than just driving around aimlessly wondering what we were going to do. We ate, we saw a movie, we spent too much money.
  • We went to a shooting range. Some girls get flowers on their anniversary. I went home with a .357 Ruger. I LOVE my husband!


Also on my list of fabulous things that happened yesterday:

Ladies & Gentlemen,

You are now looking at reading the blog of one of the new Vampire Diaries Fansite’s news writers! So not only do I get to share my regular mind poop with you, I also get to share vampire-related obsessiveness with thousands of other people. I’m hoping this will lead to my marriage to Ian Somerhalder, but I won’t count on it. I’d have to commit bigotry in order for this to happen, but I don’t think hubs #1 would hold it against me since he just bought me a gun. I mean, look at this guy. Would you pass that up?

So what should my first TVD article on the fan site be about? Opinions & suggestions not only welcome, but wanted needed. 🙂


3 thoughts on “.357s & Bigotry; Dangerous Combination

  1. Pingback: WWRS? « Bethylicious

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