I’ve been so heavy-hearted in my recent posts that I figured it’s about time I got back to my normal routine of gracing you all with my usual mind-poop. You see, sometimes there are things that I want to say, but can’t.
Like the above, for example. While there are several situations I’d say this in, I don’t think it would be wise to say something like this to my minion’s teacher. Do I want to at least once a month? Why, yes. Yes I do.
I also believe the above statement is the answer for why nothing the government does EVER makes sense. They can’t agree on anything unless there’s a certain level of idiocy involved.
The next one, I just think is funny.
This one, I would very much like to email to individual people and see how long it takes them to figure out that yes, I actually do mean you!
Having given you some examples of things I really want to say, but am smart enough to keep to myself (until now apparently) & also having shared an earlier post on things I thought I’d never say, I feel it appropriate to share with you a list of things that I desperately want to say but never see myself catching quite the right opportunity or circumstance to do so. Enjoy & feel free to add your own as I’m sure some of you can get much more creative than me!
“Why YES, Damon Salvatore! Of course I’ll marry you!” <— Dear Husband, breathe. And remember this is a fictional scenario so our nuptials are completely safe 😀
“It’s ‘wingardium lev-O-sa. Not levio-sah.” *Know-it-all Powers Activate!*
Next on the list: I desperately want to say “My best friend is Catnip” and have it be nothing short of absolute truth.
I’m a picky eater. It sucks. What does this have to do with me wanting to say things I don’t think I’ll ever get to? A lot actually. You see, my husband is always trying to get me to try new things which is great. But sometimes, he gets a little too serious with it and I want to give him a really brilliant comeback to make him shut up. Trouble is, he’s only given me the opening to say it once and I missed my opportunity to respond appropriately. Sadly, these are the kind of moments you can’t get back. He told me a certain food was “full of protein.” What I said was “So.” Genius, right? What I should have said was “so is jizz, but you don’t see me harvesting yours!”
I would sincerely love to be in a situation where I could call Edward Cullen “Sparkle-Pants McGee” to his fictional face. The best I’ll get is meeting Robert Pattinson and let’s face it; that’s never gonna happen. Besides, that guy is so good natured and funny that anything with the word “sparkle-pants” in it probably wouldn’t even cross my mind. And the McGee thing? It just sounds good at the end of “sparkle-pants.”
I want someone to taunt me to I can tell them “you’ll be laughing on the other side of your face in a minute.”
This doesn’t fit all the criteria seeing as how it’s likely I’ll get the chance to say this one, but I might fudge it up by forgetting to use it like I did with my husband so…here is. I hope that someday I can tell my kids “when you fall out of that tree and break your legs, don’t come runnin’ to me!” I also hope that when they remember I said that I’ll be there to see their faces when they finally get it. (Anyone notice the quantity of “T” words in that last sentence? Totally accidental…)
Last for this post (but certainly not all I have) I absolutely want to be in a position to say “If I see anything I haven’t seen before, I’ll throw a dollar at it.” I confess this one scares me a bit when I run through the list of possible scenarios in which this statement would be appropriate. *Shudders*