It’s 11:35pm & I have a sunburned 4 year old minion hacking up her lungs on my couch. Or at least she sounds like she’s hacking up a lung, poor thing. She got up complaining that her skin was burning and as soon as she realized that I’m a sucker for a child that needs her mama, she decided to show & tell every “boo boo” she’s got. She started off with scrapes, went to small scratches; she even showed me a bruise. Once my sympathies, which are directly attached to my continuously drooping eyelids, started to wear thin she must have decided it was time to take drastic measures. Here I am wishing the cough medicine I gave her would just kick in already when she busts out The Cuteness.
Minion #3: *in her most pitiful Love-Me-I’m-Cute voice* Mommy…can I show you my boo boo?
Me: *sleepy sigh* (Apparently, this means “yes, please do!” in Minionville.
Minion #3: *Pulls her little leg out from under her blanket & points to an invisible boo-boo somewhere in the vicinity of her foot.*
Me: *GASP!* Oh my goodness! That’s a horrible boo-boo. There’s only one thing to do. We have to cut off your whole foot!
Minion #3: *Calmly. (Because she’s knows I’m full of crap.)* No we don’t. *Smiles*
Me: Yes, we do. That’s the only way to make these kinds of boo boos go away.
Minion #3: Feel it. (Demanding little thing, isn’t she?)
She points to a spot, I feel it. I exclaim that we need to amputate stat! She looks at me with her best this woman is totally crazy face when I use the word ‘stat.’ And she asks me why we have to take it off. I think I’m going to trick her so I say:
Me: “well, it’s a bad boo-boo, right?”
Minion #3: *without missing a beat* No, it’s a good boo-boo.
She then tells me it’s just a “frinkle” which translates to “freckle” in Minionese & puts her cute little foot back under her cover and goes back to hacking as usual. She’s still up which is why I’m sitting here typing with no idea what I actually came here to say.
I guess it doesn’t matter because The Cuteness has attacked relentlessly once again.
Minion #3 shall now be dubbed “The Cuteness.”
The Cuteness: *approximately 45 seconds ago* But Mommy….I wanna snuggle up with you in your bed so bad.
How can I say no to that? You only get so many years to snuggle with them and I’m taking what I can get. I just hope that “what I can get” doesn’t mean “wake up in the morning snuggling with a misplaced lung” in Minionese.