Like OMG! 4COL!

Heyy Guyyss!

Soooo, I wass like thinking & stuff. Yyou know…about thoooose ppl who do that thing whr theyy like write half of everyything w/like extrra letters n stuff n then tha othrr half is either short-hand or horibblyy misspelllledd. Like, what’s the deal? Whyy wld u extract letterss from 1 word just 2 add them 2 another word? Like…totallyy.

Okay, that’s enough of that. I have no illusions that I’d be able to keep up that tomfoolery for the duration of this post. But do you see my point? Teenagers: You look and sound RIDICULOUS. Unless you’re sending a text where you’re limited to 160 characters, there’s no need for all the short-hand. Or Twitter where you’re limited to a measly 140 characters. (I’m convinced TwitLonger was created exclusively for me & my long-windedness.) Texting and short-hand has become so ingrained in the culture of our youth that they even write (completely craptastic) songs about it.

And only the young people (I say that like I’m not just 26 myself) understand it. Really – I have to know…what is “lmho?” I could google it, but I’d rather one of my lovely, faithful readers tell me. To be honest, I’m hoping none of you can because if you did that would just confirm the notion that I am, in fact, “old” according to my thirteen year old nieces and nephews. (Unless you googled it…then we’d be on equal footing.) The fact that 26 could be considered old to some astounds me, but you know – as the young people who are too lazy to pronounce a whole word would say – “Whatevs.”

I’m just wondering if these kids even take English anymore because the way they write completely defies every rule of language I’ve ever heard. We rarely took out letters before texting came along unless it was a bonafide abbreviation. For instance “with” turned into “w/” if we were just trying to save some time. We might have used “bc” “’cause” or “cuz” in place of because, but that was about as crazy as it got. When we added extra letters to a word, it was to convey emphasis. Example: “I Loooooooooove You!!!” Now people are adding letters simply on the basis that it looks good on a serial killer or professional stalker application. Or taking them out, whichever.

(Or IDK...like...mayybe it's justt meee. Like mayybe otherr ppl did that xtra letter vs. shrthnd stuff when I was n like...that place...u know...skool. N like I just totallyy didn't notice cuz I am like...not n2 payying attn. 2 stoopid ppl.)

Have you noticed a lot of people can’t even be bothered for a single effing letter!? “I Love You” has now officially been turned into “I Luv U.” I even see it on teddy bears around Valentine’s which is just sad. (Also sad – those of you who are still calling it Valentime’s.)

And taking out letters? How does this jive with adding letters? You’re too lazy to say “whatever” in its entirety, (which, if I may point out, is only one more lousy syllable!!!!) but you spend time adding letters to words that don’t need extra letters for no other reason than…what? I can’t even think of a reason to do that and that’s something because my brain is full of all kinds of crazy shenanigans that don’t make sense. What about “cray cray?” It’s the same amount of syllables as saying “crazy” so why!? “Ooh Lord, boi – u so cray cray.” Please don’t say that to the hearing impaired. There’s no telling what they’ll think you just said.

It drives me crazy (cray cray!) to see what my nieces, nephews & younger cousins post on facebook because I always wonder if they write in school that way. It would be terrifying to me if someone said they did. And I do mean TERRIFYING as in “a cause to feel great fear” because I love English & language in general. Naturally, being a lover of language and vernacular, it makes me cringe to see certain things & then I fear for the state of humanity. What will life be like when our world leaders are exchanging potentially life-altering texts while chillin’ on the toilet?

Future President: What his text says: “IDK wh@ u wnt me 2 say bout SS. LBATM.” What his text means: “I don’t know what you want me to say about social security. I’m a little busy at the moment.”

Future Senator: What his text says: “?” What his text means: “Doing what?”

Future President: What his text says: “Making deposit.” What his text means: “I’m taking a dump.”

Future Senator: What his text says: “In SS acct?” What his text means: “In the social security account?

Future President: What his text says: “Yyes.” …. No further translation needed.

I’m tellin’ ya, people! This is dangerous! I could go on for a while about this, but in an effort to shut the hello up (which y’all know I have issues with) I’m just going to ask one more question. How do you teenagers know what this means:

MW. TUL8r…..NBG. OK 2 txt now lolz.”

(Sidenote: Okay I have to ask 2 more questions – Why do you people put a “Z” on the end of “Lol!?” Laughing out loudz….Seriously?)

Honestly, that could mean anything! It could be:

“Mouth Watering. Tul ate her….Nice Booger Glob. OK to text now laughing out loudz” [Which is both gross and frightening. Nice Booger Glob does make me “lolz” though.]

“Monday – Wednesday. Tell you later….Not Been Good. Okay to text now laughing out loudlyz” In this case, it’s safe to assume the person you’re texting is having a bad day, in which case, I wonder why they would be “laughing out loudlyz”. 

But in reality it actually means something like:

“Mom Watching. Text you later….Nosy B-word Gone. Okay to text now laughing out loudz [because I totallyy just called my mom, {who gave birth to me & raised me & loves my spoiled arse} a B-word.”]

OK BFFs (Blogger Friends Forever!! *hair toss*)

Who can tell me what the title of this post means? Go ahead…make your best guesses 🙂

TTFN! TTYL! XOX!

PS…Dear God,

HELP US.

Amen.

 

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12 thoughts on “Like OMG! 4COL!

  1. I have to admit, I’m guilty of doing the lolz from time to time. I also occasionally say OMGWTFLOLBBQ just to be funny. But some of the rest of it, I’m flummoxed.
    I do know that IMHO is in my humble opinion, but I only know that from message boards.
    I can give you some hope for the future, though. I’ve trained my daughter to be a grammar nazi (not purposely, I might add. She just learned from my ranting) and she will call out her friends (ON FACEBOOK!) when they use the wrong its/it’s or your/you’re, among other things.

    • Ok the OMGWTFLOLBBQ thing really IS funny. I’ve seen the “in my humble opinion” thing…but in the craptacular song I posted, she says something about “I’ll LMHO with the rest” & I’m thinking…”Laying on My Hiney Outside???” Lol What’s the z for in the lol thing? Just to be cute? And God bless you for making your daughter a grammar nazi! More people should do this…4realz (<—see, I can current.) My 6 year old is developing that with a fierceness I'm really proud of!!

      • I didn’t watch the video because (shhh) I’m at work and they have YouTube blocked. I’ll have to check it when I’m home. So I have no idea what the LMHO is.
        Why the z? No idea. Thought it was funny. Saw some other hipster doing it and figured I’d join along. And work that 6 yo! Keep spreading the scripture of proper grammar and punctuation!

        I have to share a funny you’d appreciate. I went to a parent-teacher conference and was asking about any make-up work my daughter had (she had been out ill) and the language arts teacher said she still needed to do a quiz on be verbs. I (without even thinking) blurted out, “You mean is/are, was/were, have/has/had, will/shall, could/would/should, be/been and am?”
        He paused for a moment, and staring straight at me said, “Wow. That was hot.” And he didn’t even say it ironically or sarcastically. He was genuinely impressed. It made my day.

      • Sucks when they actually expect you to work, doesn’t it? The audacity!!

        And be verbs – I appreciate that story more than I can tell you. Your daughter should have no worries in the language arts department. Hell, she’d probably score good grades regardless because her mom’s language is so “hot.” Lol

  2. Lmao, oh yeah I think this is spreading so fast and many people have been doing this right from their teens years.. Like a man who traveled to another state and sent a text to his wife, ” Hi honey I am having a nice time at the moment, I wish you were her” (Instead of Here)… When he returned home he found out his wife already packed and leave…. Nice write up…

      • Oh yes, you are absolutely right and that is why I do all my best to write complete sentences and words whenever I want to reply back to messages despite the fact that I received shorthand messages from friends.. The truth be told…

      • Lol – I actually have nothing against shorthand when texting because 160 characters isnt always enough to work with. Just make sure what you’re saying makes sense lol.

      • Lol, thought the same way, especially when it comes to twitter and some other funny social network sites… I am following you already, hope you return the favor? thanks

  3. One of the fifth graders I was student-teaching not too long ago would always write “IDK” on papers.. tests, homework, whatever. It was CRAZY!! I do use little acronyms like that when I’m texting or on Facebook and stuff sometimes.. but it’s ridiculous that kids today just use them so much and even in school work like that.
    I am big on still spelling out things like “I love you” and stuff.. Anything else just doesn’t seem as meaningful.

    I enjoyed your rant. 😀

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