Dear Females; Part 7

Starting right where we left off in Part 6, here is Part 7; the removal of Butt-Leeches.

Another thing you can do to solve the “my kids are everywhere and won’t ever leave me alone!” thing; send them to a friend or family members house so you can get a few much-needed minutes or hours alone and use the time wisely. Use it for whatever the most pertinent issue in your relationship is at the time. If you have problems you need to discuss; discuss them. Try to resolve them if you can. Do not yell at each other. Do not blame one another. Do not call each other names. A simple “I feel _____ when you ______. Could we try ______ instead?” will suffice to get the ball rolling in a much more positive way than “I can’t believe you did ______ you sorry bastard! I hate you and I hope you go prematurely bald and that all your teeth fall out and that you are never happy again!”

If you haven’t done the deed in a while, the second that door closes, feel free to have at it. You can’t neglect your spouse just because you have too many other things going on. All it does is breed more resentment and more neglect which just makes it that much harder to find your way back to each other in the long run. So long story short, take time for each other, but don’t make it always one-sided (i.e – don’t be a selfish nincompoop). Sometimes you have to sacrifice what you want temporarily to give your spouse what they need. You know, cross one bridge to get to another.

If you’re not married yet and you find yourself in relationships that just never seem to pan out the way you want them to (or even if you’ve been married and this happened), stop and think about what dumb crap you’re doing to screw it up! Yes, I said that. It’s not always the other person making the mistakes. Take some responsibility and figure out what it is that you’re doing or not doing to send things in the opposite direction of the way you want them to go. Stop putting the blame on other people. Yes, they screwed up, too, but can you do anything about their actions? No. But you can learn from your own mistakes and try to make sure they aren’t repeated. This will give you much better odds for your next relational endeavor.

Did your love interest go running right after you gave him access to the happy place? Here’s your sign – stop doing that! I can’t say it enough! The power is under your skirt – stop hiking the skirt up and giving all your best cards away before you’ve even won a few hands. It’s like the best bargaining tool in existence and we don’t even use it! What is that about?! Even married people can still do this within reason. For those of you that are about to bring up that whole “it says ‘do not withhold from your spouse’ in the Bible” spiel…save it. (That is a post for another day! Entitled: “When People Use The Bible Only To Suit Their Advantages, But Choose To Disregard It When It Doesn’t Benefit Them Because They Are Idiots Who Can’t Even Excel At Being Hypocrites.”) I’ve made a few examples for you of what I think it means not to withhold sex from your spouse while also keeping them on their toes. Of course, why does it matter what I think? But even so…here it is.

Right after this break! (That will last all night…& through the weekend.) See you Monday for (I can’t believe it…) PART 8!

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