Listen To My…..Throat?

You know how I have to be inspired to write stuff and things and other stuff? Well, thanks Girl on the Contrary. You inspire me. *Jazz Hands!*

And all the rest of you would do well to be inspired by her, too! Her blog is my favorite out of all the ones I follow, not just because she’s absolutely brilliant and always makes me laugh, but because her thoughts are just as weird and random as my own. (Also because I want her on my team when the apocalypse inevitably arrives.) My problem? I facebook my weird thoughts and she blogs hers which, ya know…creates more readers and facebook sort of doesn’t do that.

I don’t care so much about having a famous blog, but then I got to thinking (which is dangerous) that it’s a shame more people outside my immediate circle don’t know how hard that little purple guy in my brain works to create all this incredible mind poop I’ve got churning around up in here. But then that made me think that there’s literally a guy taking a dump in my brain which was one part entertaining and five parts highly unpleasant so I had to clip that train of thought before it could come to completion. Then that made me think about the poopie list  the boys used to laugh about in middle school because the thought of clamping off thoughts that originate from a guy taking a crap in my head made me think of the last poopie on the list:

The Dangling Poopie: This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Poopie-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

After all this talk about poop, I bet you’re wondering what you’re still doing here; I know I am.

What I actually wanted to talk about was how I suggested GotC learn Tibetan Throat Singing as part of her New Years Resolution. If she doesn’t do it, I’ll have to. Why, you ask?

Because it sounds like a fun and bizarre thing to write on a job application and also because it’s totally useless and as such, is pretty much guaranteed to afford me any government position I so desire. Also…it’s a real thing. Google can prove it.

So, if I learn this, I’m thinking my candidacy in the next US Presidential Election is a sure thing. Obviously, you don’t have to have any viable skills to run for anything in this country so, based on that outlook,  Tibetan Throat Singing could take me farther than my wildest dreams (which are pretty freaking wild). Your parents always tell you when you’re growing up that you can be anything you want to be and achieve anything you set your mind to. Well my mind is set on using indecipherable throat sounds to coerce the country into hiring me to dominate rule run it.

Who wants to be my campaign manager?


4 thoughts on “Listen To My…..Throat?

  1. I don’t know about managing your campaign (although it wouldn’t be the weirdest political campaign I’ve ever managed, so consider that…) but I have to say that “that little purple guy in my brain works to create all this incredible mind poop I’ve got churning around up in here” made me laugh. Because I totally relate.

    • Glad you relate! And also…I’m seriously considering this thought that mine wouldn’t be the weirdest political campaign you’ve ever managed. I’m intrigued….

  2. You know I will be the best one for that Job. I already have your VP picked out, too. Welcome aboard Cheryl!!!

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