This Is Not A Threat; Please Don’t Arrest Me

Dear Officer Who Was Directing Traffic For School This Morning, 
Say a little prayer, sir. God intervened on your behalf today because this girl forgot to put her contacts in before getting into the car. You were thisclose to being pancake batter dude. Luckily, God saw fit that I should drive like a granny this morning, which effectively saved your life.
You’re welcome.

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