Pot Holders Hold More Than Hot Pots

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Okay, so…I have a confession.

Every time I see a pair of pot holders (mine are like one half of two pairs, but whatever) I get…concerned. I’m slightly terrified of them to be completely honest. Whenever I’m about to put my hands into these things I get a vision of all the creepy crawlies that could have climbed inside and made nests in there.

Here’s a story you can learn something from. Just imagine sticking your hands straight into a spider web. Or worse, a den of flesh eating bugs. And then my hands would get shaved to skeletons in seconds and I wouldn’t be able to open the oven so all the cakes would burn and I wouldn’t even be able to spread frosting over them to disguise the taste of charcoal and life would simply be over. You know, because the bugs would climb out of the pot holders and eat my whole body.

The moral of the story is that whenever you’re shopping for a house warming or wedding gift, you should totally go for the plain square pot holder. Otherwise, your recipient will get eaten by zombie bugs and will haunt you from the grave for indirectly causing their death and their significant other will hunt you down because they’ll be really upset about their lack of cake. And people do crazy things when they don’t get their cake. Like plant a nest of zombie bugs in your pot holders. It’s a nasty cycle. Just sayin’.

So, who wants to hire me to come tell your kids bedtime stories?

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7 thoughts on “Pot Holders Hold More Than Hot Pots

  1. It seems like the moral might be that if you’ve got a gift registry going, and really, really specific phobias, there should be a spot on the registry to jot them down.

    • Good point…
      Except essentially everyone I know is a smart ass and would capitalize on that information. Too late now though I suppose. I’ve already screwed myself.

  2. Pingback: I Cheated – Bad Blogger

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