This Post Doesn’t Have An Adequate Title Because It’s Random Mind-Poop & Because I’m Too Lazy To Think Of An Adequate Title

I want to start my own podcast about nothing. It would be like The View, only without Whoopie…and no video. I would have to have a particular set of friends taking part in this. Spam, you know you want to.

10 Things I Would Discuss On My Podcast About Nothing:

(These are numbered, but not in order of preference; more in the order they occur to me.)

1.) The word ‘nothing’ and how we are never actually doing it even though we fool ourselves into thinking we are.

2.) Why is motor-boating a thing? Like…who came up with the idea to do this and then give it a name? ::


3.) Google “things that suck” and see the diverse plethora of answers Google gives you. Then we’ll discuss why it sucks that Google thinks so many things that don’t actually suck, suck. I just googled it and inexplicably, a lot of stuff about apples and pears came up. I happen to like apples and pears. I don’t like being pear-shaped necessarily, but I certainly wouldn’t want to be apple-shaped. Pear-shaped sucks way less than apple-shaped, but who am I to judge? Why all the negativity about fruit and fruit-shaped things, y’all?

4.) I’d like very much for my friends and I to get together, have wine (or in my case, whiskey) and talk about whatever we talk about, nonsensical or otherwise, and just make that stuff public. It would be hilarious and put The View to shame.

5.) We have to have a grammar episode. I feel an overwhelming urge to lay my grammar hammer down.

6.) Our bodies are pretty awesome. They do a lot of stuff for us. I’d like to praise the awesome machines that bodies and brains are. Science is cool.

7.) Weird things kids do because there is no shortage of conversation on this topic. Assuming we have a single, lone listener at this point, I would totally take your weird kid emails and read them.

8.) A podcast from the POV of children. We should just sit them down in front of a computer and let them talk. Funniest. Podcast. EVER.

9.) Parents we love and parents we hate. The parents we hate will mostly just be perfect ones that do everything better than us so try not to judge us too harshly.

10.) A podcast where you mostly just listen to Spam & I spit watermelon seeds at each other and call each other by our meaty nicknames. Spam & Beefy; Unstoppable.

And an extra:

11.) One where I speak Spiffinese and someone translates for me.

Anyway, that’s it. My random mood has been interrupted by the need for me to put my children to bed. Let me know how you’re feeling about this podcast thing. If someone doesn’t stop me now, I might actually try it. Scary…



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