You know what I HATE? Those articles I see all over facebook about what everyone hates. You know the ones. You’ve hidden & blocked & snoozed, yet they still keep cropping up in your news feed.
- 10 Things You’ve Been Doing Wrong Your Whole Life
- 11 Ways You’re Making Your Face Look Old
- 97 Things You Should Never Say To Your [insert title here] (Hair Stylist/Photographer/Massage Therapist/Yoga Instructor/Life Coach/Pre-Schooler etc.)
- 7 Types of Parents Teachers Hate: Which One Are You?
- 8 Super Unattractive Things You’re Definitely Doing & How You’re Destined To Die Alone
- 5,972 Ways You Totally Suck At Life
If you hate those articles I’m here to make you a very happy person. I’ve seen it suggested multiple times that someone should even the score. For every “7 Things Every Makeup Artist Hates About Their Clients ” article it’s been suggested that there be one “7 Things Your Client Hates About You” article to counter it.
Well…I’m not here to do that.
Don’t you think our society has enough needless anxiety already? Trusting someone else with your hair/face/health/safety/memories/children is hard enough without the constant pressure to tailer yourself, or your actions & reactions to ones deemed acceptable by your current company. Courtesy is one thing, but if the anxiety of needing to be accepted is interfering with your daily life or your sense of self, it’s a problem. It seems the #2 way to get someone to click on your post is to prey on their insecurities. (We all know what #1 is *bow chicka wow wow* I gave up rolling my eyes for lent or else there would be a fantastic gif here.) Tell them you’ve got something they don’t & they’ll feel like they need it to be happy. Make them feel like they’re lacking in some way and they’ll want to know how to fix it. Or maybe they just want a feel a little better about themselves so they click on the article to read about all the things that other people are doing wrong, but surely they’re doing them right…right?
How about we just do away with all of that?
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather read something nice about myself. I already know all the ways I’m failing. I’m so good at anxiety that I can even second-guess myself over things I’m mostly confident about. I KNOW that I’ve been bathing correctly my entire life (or at least since I hit 13 anyway, if we’re being completely honest) but those articles still have a way of making me doubt myself enough to click on them occasionally. My kids are pretty great – respectful, thoughtful, compassionate, intelligent, sarcastic, funny, resilient (and I’m not just saying that because I’m their mom) – but some days I just don’t know if I’m doing this parenting thing well enough. Maybe I’m guilty of saying something to my kids that is going to destroy their spirit & counteract every good thing I’ve ever taught them? As if the second-guessing wasn’t bad enough on its own, I then get mad at myself for taking precious time out of my day to read even one sentence of that kind of subversive garbage so I close it out & silently berate myself for being stupid. Productive, huh?
So, let’s shut it down.
I’d like it way better if people led with compliments rather than criticism, confidence instead of conceit, kindness in lieu of hostility, authenticity over comparison. Humor. Humility. Honesty. So, that’s what I’m going to do, and not just today; every day. As often as possible.
Anytime I feel like saying something I’m going to ask myself if it’s constructive to do so. Is it true? Can anything positive come out of what I’m about to say? Is it being said with love & good will? If not, then I have two options:
A.) Do what my mama said and keep it to myself
B.) (If I still feel like it needs to be said) Reframe what I need to say in a positive light so as to be clear about the good intentions behind it as opposed to just word vomiting all over someone & leaving them like this poor guy:
So, this is what we’re gonna do (& yes, the self-proclaimed grammar nazi is comfortable saying “gonna”):
Let’s flip the script & use those articles for good. Send me an inane article you hate. Inbox me. Email me a link. Tag me in it on facebook when you see it. I’ll take as many as I can and reframe them in a positive (hopefully hilarious) way and post them here with a nod back to the original. Then, maybe we can share the shitaki mushrooms out of ours & replace a lot of the negative junk in our news feeds. So, go ahead – don’t be afraid of, annoyed, or “triggered” by those posts anymore. Let’s be amused, affirmed, & enlightened by them instead. ❤