5 Things I Should Adult About

Day 8 for the blogging challenge is a little late because today has been a long day. I don’t anticipate this being a long post; I’m currently quite a sleepy blogger. Today is all about my 5 current goals. All of my goals require me to Adult, with which I’m currently experiencing technical difficulties.

Listed in order of priority:

5.) Getting new items listed on Adopt-a-Dish. I want to create some new stuff this year. I want to write new stories for my pieces, make my Facebook page more interactive and engaging. In general, I simply want to have more fun with it. I’m not looking to get rich selling hand-painted dishes; I only want to wake up in the mornings and be able to say that I enjoy what I do.

4.) Make friends. We moved to Florida 6 months ago and I still don’t have friends here. At first, I didn’t see the point in making friends since our move was intended to be very temporary, but that’s what social media is for. Besides, I need a workout buddy. Someone who can help hold me accountable. Someone I can go have lunch with occasionally. I’ve been encouraging my kids to socialize and make friends so I’d be a hypocrite not to do the same myself.

*Note: I just want to point out that my not having friends here shouldn’t make you feel pangs of pity or anything. :p I don’t feel like I’m lacking anything; my life here is so full and wonderful. The main reason I haven’t made any friends here is because I haven’t tried to do so. I’ve been so busy with my own family, sight-seeing, and painting that going out to socialize just didn’t rank high on my list of priorities. I’m only wanting to make it a priority now because I know myself well enough to know that it could become a problem for me later and I don’t want that. I encourage my kids to get out of their comfort zones and build healthy relationships with different types of people, so they need to see me doing the same.

3.) Making health a priority/spending more time outdoors. This has been on my priority list for years and I’ve been making slow progress. I eat a ton more green things now than I used to, thank you very much. I do want to kick it up a notch this year though. I want to utilize the gym here in our community more. I used to go to a yoga class 2-3 times a week when we were in GA (before things got really hectic and I couldn’t anymore) so if I can fit it in our budget I’d like to do that again since there’s a studio close by. At the very least I’d like to accomplish the above goal so I have a (home) yoga buddy or gym partner. Maybe take my dog for more walks, visit the park more.

2.) Starting The Cuteness on a Brain Balance Program. If you’ve never heard of it, look it up; I believe it will be absolutely amazing for her, and us as a family.

And that leaves the main priority as:

1.) Determining what our more immediate future holds. Things may change dramatically for us in the next 6 months & I’m really struggling with deciding what shape those changes are going to take & how we’re going to navigate them. I need someone to pray that God miraculously makes us an adultier couple because we’re going to need the guidance of a beings far wiser than ourselves to make these decisions and see them through.

What are your 5 current goals? How close or far away are you to achieving those goals?

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Too Many Things

Blog Challenge, Day 2: 20 Facts About Me

1.) I don’t expect anyone to be interested in this, but if you read it, I’ll make you healthy, delicious, fat free, calorie free, weight-loss inducing, muscle-building, magical unicorn cookies.

2.) This is pretty much me with new people. e14db6d57a5feb8ec23ff91e16e61d42

3.) Unless we just “click” or I came to the party in a certain super-great mood, or if the room is generating a really comfortable, positive vibe. In any of those cases you might get the top half of that picture. I’m one of those weirdo extroverted introverts. If none of these apply, you’re going to get a purple-haired mouse at your party whose only interaction with you will likely be a few moments of me making borderline inappropriate jokes at exactly the worst time to precisely the worst person before I find an excuse to leave… “Oh I’m sorry, I just remembered – I was scheduled for a colonoscopy today. Bye!”

4.) My husband just asked me what the heck an extroverted introvert is. Basically it just means that I have days where I love being around people & can be just a fun as the average extrovert, but I need a little more down time to recover and recharge my batteries after. I love my people, but I also really value my alone time.

5.) When I said “my people” it felt a little like this:amiraclescienceclaims

6.) I’m the worst at planning ahead. My default is to fly by the seat of my pants so for me to even halfway successfully plan anything it takes a significant effort on my part, and a few other things including, but not limited to: 2 gallons of sweet tea, 67 sheets of paper, 2 pens because I’m going to lose at least one, a calculator, 8 solid hours of pinterest in which I look at everything except planning pins, 2 pounds of confetti, a bottle of rum, absolutely no sleep, & a sorting hat.

7.) Keeping with the previous admission: I fail at birthday parties & yet I just keep throwing them because my kids seem to be under the mistaken impression that I rock at it. What I lack in planning skills I make up for with skills of deception. 😉 Their parties usually end up being some combination of a sparsely decorated kitchen or living room with laundry shoved away in the pantry, epically messy group activities which may not have been thought out quite well enough, a bunch of half-eaten hotdogs & empty chip bags, and a colorful confection of some sort. As long as I don’t forget the cake and the Taylor Swift playlist, my girls are pretty happy. My son just wants knives, bows and arrows, grills…anything he can survive in the wilderness or hurt himself with and he’s there. So, while planning may not be my gift, I at least get some things right.

8.) I am incredibly indecisive. Mostly because I don’t care. Where do I want to eat? I don’t care. What do I want to eat? Don’t care. My kid comes home and tells me their best friend’s mom has a girlfriend…couldn’t care less. When it matters I can make the decision, but sometimes it takes me a while if it’s a big decision. I may suck at planning, but I’m great at pro/con lists!

9.) I often pray multiple times in a day. I don’t drop to my knees, hold up a bible or close my eyes and enter into a prayer posture while my friend is talking to me about her baby goat, but I do have an ongoing internal conversation with The Man at random times throughout the day or week, just whenever the desire strikes me.

10.) I don’t believe prayer in and of itself really solves much, but I do believe it calms the mind, can heal the heart, and give peace to the soul; all things which contribute to being able to think clearly and calmly enough to solve problems, or at the very least, not stress about things which are outside our control. I’m not one of those “just pray about it and it’ll be okay” people; it’s not a magic wand, but I absolutely believe it’s powerful.

11.) I believe miracles occur every day.

12.) I said I pray often, but I have some work to do with listening. Yoga & meditation is for listening.

13.) I am annoyingly inconsistent, even with things which I love and enjoy. Yoga, for instance. I love it. I always feel 1000% better when I do it, yet I still don’t practice everyday. I used to and then for whatever no good reason, I stopped. I plan to work on that this year.

14.) I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. If I decide I want to do something I don’t have to wait until January 1st, or a Monday, or for anything else to happen first: I just do it.

15.) & then I quit 2 days later.

16.) #15 was mostly just funny, but also somewhat accurate. It’s that inconsistency thing again. I have to make very intentional decisions everyday because  – depending on what it is – it’s easy for me to just decide I’m not feeling something one day and give up on it. I hate that about myself so I try not to be that person. Sometimes I fail at that, too. 😛

17.) I still haven’t decided what I want to be when I grow up. On the outside, one could perceive me to be the type of person who knows exactly what I want out of my life and big picture-wise, I do. I just haven’t figured out the details in between. You know…like…what I want to be. I have way too many hobbies and interests, but nothing that I feel like is my calling or my purpose. Other than maybe being a mom of course, but I wouldn’t turn down a calling that pays in $20 dollar bills.

18.) Speaking of callings, that’s what I want. I don’t want “just a job, any job, any job will do!” :p I want a purpose; something meaningful and fulfilling. Realistically speaking, I realize that may never happen. Not everyone gets the angel-choir-hallelujah-this-is-what-I-was-meant-to-do epiphany so my biggest goal is just to be fully present wherever I am at whatever moment or phase of life I’m in, & to take it and enjoy it for whatever it is.

19.)  This talking about myself thing is really boring me now. I’m running out of facts, energy & give-a-craps.

20.) If you read to this point comment with a Supernatural or Harry Potter reference and not only will I recognize you as one of my tribe, but you, too, could be the lucky recipient of some of those healthy, delicious, fat free, calorie free, weight-loss inducing, muscle-building, magical unicorn cookies. Did I mention they’re vitamin-rich also? And invisible?

Praise Be Unto Thee (Who Cleaneth Thy Living Room)

Remember when I shared the holy grail with you? 

Well, we are still rocking the points system. We have changed some point values, added things, taken away things…but the idea is still the same. The kids have gotten so used to it that we don’t even need the list anymore. The only time we use it is when I need an idea for something they can earn points for that they haven’t done in a while. 

We have had less groundings because the deduction of points seems to be a sufficient punishment in itself for the most part, especially when you have children that are often in the red. We decided if the kids have negative points there won’t be any TV, electronics, playtime, etc. until they are positive again (so logical & adult-y, right?!) so they work harder to earn those privileges & to keep them. 

We used to have it set up where they bought their TV and iPad time using points, but now we just allow them to do those things provided they’ve completed homework, chores, and do not have negative points. It’s not like they get an over abundance of that during the school year anyway. They can spend points on a later bedtime if there’s a show they want to stay up and watch or something, but only after we have verified their grades are in good standing (so it doesn’t start until after the first progress report) and we don’t have trouble waking them up the next morning. As soon as getting up becomes a problem or grades drop below a B, later bedtimes are off the table. 

My girls are negative right now because both of them keep losing, or wasting toiletries. Both girls are constantly losing their toothbrushes or using their shampoo/conditioner/body soap/hand soap to make “potions” or other imaginative girly things with them so, with the help of some Facebook friends we came up with a solution: make them buy their toiletries with points. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me sooner. The girls both had to buy a toothbrush, toothpaste, and body wash last night which put them both in the red. I told them they’d have to earn those points back before they could have free time today. I gave them an easy opportunity though. 

  
I felt a wee bit biblical this morning. Also, my handwriting looks atrocious…But on the bright side, you think I can convince them that this is actually a verse from the bible? 

We shall see who jumps on it first. I’m just so glad this points system is working for them. Minion #1 even saved up enough points to buy himself his very own android tablet & a case to go with it. Minion #3 is currently saving her points to buy (I kid you not) her very own jar of pickles. Pickles. 😂😂 I see her priorities rest very heavily on food. Minion #2 isn’t saving for anything specific just yet. She gets in the most trouble out of all of them; sometimes I think she just earns points so that I can take them away, lol. She will get there. I’m going to try to get her to set a goal as soon as she gets back to black. See what I did there? :p 

Have you tried any of these methods with your kids? How successful (or not) have your attempts been? What things work for you? Maybe I can get some insight on other ways I can help inspire and motivate my strong-willed middle child from your comments! 🙂 Thanks for reading! 

Dear Females; Part 6

Part 6!? Don’t people normally stop at 3? Oh well…if you’re here, that must mean I’m doin’ somethin’ right even if I am takin’ a long time to do it! 🙂

Part 6…

I crushed the souls of the younger generation so it’s only fair if I move on.

So now I’m talking to those of you who consider yourselves grown. Those of you that are currently in or have been in mature relationships.

All the stuff in Dear Females: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 & Part 5 applies to you, too. I know it seems a little ridiculous, but like I said in the disclaimer, take what applies to you and leave the rest. There are some things in there that really do apply for adult relationships because, unfortunately, we still have 40 year old men acting like 19 year olds and subsequently, hooking up with 19 year olds. Seriously? Just…ew.

It goes back to what I was saying about what makes the world spin for men and women. Women want love so we foolishly give men sex to get it. That’s wrong! That’s all they want and as soon as they get what they want, you’re left with sore lady-business and a broken heart. You want the man to love you? Make him work for the sex. While he’s doing all this working, he’ll be learning how to appreciate you and, more importantly, how to love you in the process. You don’t give your kids their allowance if they haven’t earned it by doing their chores, right? It’s the same thing.

Then, when you finally get the man to love you so much that he can’t see his life without you in it and thus, feels he needs to propose; don’t turn into one of those crazy Bride-zilla’s! He’ll start rethinking his decision to marry you once he sees how much of a freakish control-freak you can be! I get it; weddings are stressful. They make everybody crazy with all the planning and details, not to mention the emotional stuff an impending marriage can bring along with it. The point is not to get so caught up in all that, that you forget why you’re getting married in the first place. It’s your first introduction to what living life with the same person forever is going to be like and you have to communicate to get through it. That means turn the bride-zilla switch off for 2-seconds and remember to tell your soon-to-be hubby that you still love him and not just the giant rock he put on your finger.

Then comes the honey-moon. No comment on that one…

After that is when all the hard stuff happens. You realize that your other half is not perfect and that their feet are really, really stinky. And heaven forbid you walk into the bathroom behind them…

Your bills pile up, you work too much and don’t give yourself enough date nights. You get stressed out. Then you have kids and get even more stressed out. Before you know it, you’re yelling at each other almost everyday or else just not talking at all. And you certainly stop *bow chicka wow wow*…

Are all marriages that way? No.

Is there a huge stereo-type on marriage that says it is? Absolutely.

Is it that way sometimes, though? Duh. Of course. But you don’t have to get divorced over it.

It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything “wrong” exactly or that your marriage is doomed to fail. It just means you need to get educated about your spouse, what they need, what they like, what’s different about them, what is still the same, what’s going on with them ect… Communicate a little more and communicate better. And I do not mean communicating that you “hate that fat S.O.B” or whatever colorful expletives you can pour out of your mouth depending on your emotional state that day. I mean stopping everything else in your life and focusing on the person that you vowed to love most in the world.

Don’t use your kids as an excuse for why you can’t ever have a moment alone. Your relationship dilemma’s are not their fault. You have locks on your bedroom doors – use them. And if you don’t – buy one and use it! They can entertain themselves for 5 minutes a day while you talk and if that’s all the time you can get in, do it. Five minutes a day of real communication (ie. not just coordinating schedules but really talking – “how are you feeling today?” “Is there anything I can do for you today?” That kind of talking!) is better than none at all. Keep doing it until you can work up more time together or do it at a time when your kids are sleeping or otherwise engaged not up your butt. Even if you’re tired or just not feeling it at the moment, take the time to connect with your spouse. If you can do that even when you’re 30 seconds away from a dead sleep or killing somebody, that is a way to show them that they are a priority. You can sleep when you’re dead – your husband is right here right now and he needs to know that he matters to you just as much as your kids, your career, your hobby or whatever else it is that you spend hours doing when you could be spending time with him.

Tomorrow I’ll be sharing the treatment for Butt-Leeches (i.e…your kids) so don’t miss that one!!