The 3 B’s; Books, Bars & Booze

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This ^^^

I also think a book bar should be a thing. You know, where people get drunk off literacy, intelligence and imagination rather than booze. Although, I wouldn’t say no to a double jack & coke either. 😉

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Do-Overs: Live & Re-live

I want a do-over! Everyone wants a do-over on something, right?

(Dear Person Who Is Going To Eventually Invent A Working Time Machine,

Get on this do-over business for us, mkay?

Thanks!

Sincerely,

The Entire World)

But, who says the do-over has to be reserved only for experiences which were less than what you envisioned? I think they should apply also to those things you enjoyed so much that you want to re-visit the first time over and over again.

So, as if you care, here is a list of things on which I’d like a do-over:

  • The reading of a certain young adult series with feminine, glittery vampires. Okay, I admit it – I read Twilight and I LOVED it. I shall wear my shame with pride! (***And the award for Most Ironic & Nonsensical Statement of the Day goes to…..***) The first time I read it, it just grabbed me. I won’t say it’s the best written story of all time or that the sparkly vampire business isn’t a bit gay, but when I initially read it, I loved it. I devoured the entire series in four days and during that four days, I can’t remember doing a single household chore, cooking, eating, sleeping and sadly, even bathing. My children were probably wandering around the house frantically croaking “Mommy!” while scraping the crumbling remains of day-old Cheerios off the floor to nibble on. I wish that everything I could read had the power to captivate me like those books did. (Except for maybe the bathing part. A girl can take a book to the bathtub with her!) Also, Dear DFACS, I totally fed my kids while reading Twilight. Back off. KThxBye!
  • Watching Vampire Diaries for the first time. I know it’s sad that my first two do-overs involve vampires, but this is me we’re talking about. I have a bit of a slight (un)healthy obsession with the fanged and undead. Correction – the PRETTY fanged and undead. Not the undead as in The Walking Dead. That’s just Filthy McNasty. (Although the show is surprisingly awesome.) Anyway, getting back on track………….

I started watching Vampire Diaries when it was up to episode 11 of season 1. By the time they were up to episode 13 of season 1, I was already caught up and had been waiting a week for that episode to magically appear on iTunes. We were living in Germany, my husband was deployed, I didn’t sleep much and True Blood was on hiatus; I needed something to do. So I gave TVD a shot and it was like crack, y’all. CRACK! When one episode went off, I immediately started another until I realized that I needed at least a couple of hours of sleep before walking the kids to school the next day and forced myself to shut the computer off. I couldn’t get enough of it. I want every time I watch that show to feel like it did when I was first starting it.

  • Dating the hubs. There are some things I’d like a do-over of just because they weren’t exactly the smoothest operations in the history of ever, but mostly I’d just like to go back to how fun everything was then. I was 16 and goofy and didn’t care that people thought I was certifiably insane. I said hi to random strangers in a Hammy The Squirrel sort of voice. And my boyfriend (now husband) adored that goofy version of me. It was silly and fun and adorable. And vomit-inducing to everyone else which just makes it that much more amusing for me! But then again, I LOVE things just the way they are now so maybe this isn’t do-over material so much as it is re-invention material. I just need to make it a point to have more fun. I was going to say I need to make it a point to be goofier, but if I get any goofier, this blog would probably explode from not being able to handle the copious amount of weirdness it is forced to contain.
  • The first time I told my son that little boy babies come from Home Depot and little girl babies come from Walmart. This is a weird thing to want to re-experience, I admit, but you didn’t see his precious little face trying to process this information. Priceless!
  • The first time I made apple pie from scratch. This one is a do-over I wanted because the first time was a complete FAIL. Luckily, I already redeemed myself in this area on Valentine’s Day. Say hello to my delicious friend:

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I made mini apple pies, too, but at least one of those turned out to look grotesquely (and hilariously) inappropriate for the interwebs. So naturally, I took a picture! And I’m going to tease you with the fact that a select few have seen this picture and can vouch for its grotesqueness and hilarity, but I can’t bring myself to post it here because…honestly, my mom reads this thing and there’s just no way…

  • Do-over number whatever: The time I said “Dear Baby Jesus” and “your eyes are so blue!” to Ian Somerhalder. Did I think the man didn’t know what color his eyes are? He’s probably used those puppies on women since the womb and here I am gushing at him about his genetic makeup. *head-desk* As soon as I saw the man, all viable cells vacated my brain and I NEED to redeem myself. It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t remember me or that he still won’t remember me after I’ve made amends for my brainless first encounter with him. What matters is that I remember and I can’t live with that distinctly, stereotypically blonde moment hovering over my consciousness every time I see this picture (which is hanging in a place of honor in my office) with my stupid, fat-faced, goofy grin on it.

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  • 3rd Grade. All of third grade.

 

  • I’d like a do-over of that period when my two oldest kids were between the ages of 2 & 4. Not because I screwed it up or anything, but because I miss it and I’d absolutely record more of their little voices on my phone to later save to iTunes and play to myself on a regular basis. Their voices are so precious!

Side Note/Funny Story regarding the precious voices of my minions; I recorded a conversation while my husband was deployed the first time that went like this:

Minion #1 AKA Mr. Thoughtful: *Singing* I wonder if my daddy is coming back home…. *Pause* When he gets done beating the bad people up…*longer pause*

Me: Go ahead, finish your song!

Minion #1 AKA Mr. Thoughtful: I already! 

Me: Okay. *hears Minion #2 AKA Princess Sassypants singing aforementioned song in the background in her adorable barely 2 year old voice* Tell Daddy you love him.

Minion #1 AKA Mr. Thoughtful: I wuv you Daddy. I miss you!

Me: Princess Sassypants, come tell your daddy you love him. *She toddles over, doesn’t say anything* Come on, say ‘I love you, Daddy.’

Minion #2 AKA Princess Sassypants: Momma, I tink I poop!

That, I would not re-do in a million years except to keep it EXACTLY the same and hear it again and again 🙂

  • I would NOT like a do-over of pregnancy. Been there, done that, got the “PERMANENTLY OUT OF SERVICE” tattoo.
  • The time I let the kids watch Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire at the theater with the hubs and I. They were a bit too young for the whole rebirthing of a snake-like-looking-powerful-wizard/monster guy.
  • The time I let the hubs talk me into letting my young son watch The Lord of The Rings. He literally JUST got over being terrified of Smeagol and Gollum.
  • A few days ago when the kids and I did a table-top volcano experiment. That was fun. They smiled, they laughed, they played AND they learned. If we could relive that everyday, it would be fantastic.
  • The time I freaked my brother out with that Secret Circle theme music and he jumped 5 feet in the air from a laying position. Awesome!

I’m sure there’s more, but my do-overs aren’t exactly epic or anything so I’ll bore you no longer. 🙂 You tell me your do-overs now. They’ve got to be way more interesting than mine.

Until next time –

xoxo

It Took Me An Hour To Write This

It’s 12:18am and I just got done reading the last book in the Hunger Games trilogy. There’s no reason why I’m writing about it other than that there is no way I could go to sleep yet. I HAVE to talk about it first. I’m a female after all..don’t we kinda have to talk about everything? Or at the very least type nonsense about it and leave it up to the rest of you to decide whether you care enough to read it. Chances are, if you’ve read the books then you’re sticking around to read this. If you have not read the books, but want to, you’ll probably stick around then, too. If you haven’t read them and have no desire to then, surely, you didn’t even make it to this sentence. Either way, I’m continuing in my late night rambling.

I love to read and get lost in a good book. I’ve read a lot of books. Most of them are fiction so don’t start thinking I’m some highly educated person who likes books written in an old English language I could never hope to understand. I like Shakespeare, sure, but only after it was translated to me line by line by my 12th grade lit. teacher. If I tried to read and decode it on my own, I’d probably misinterpret the vast majority of it if it weren’t for the fact that almost everyone knows how all his stories end already without having read them. My point is that I like the feeling of being transported to a different time and place. A ficitonal one – because honestly, I live in the real world enough. When I’m reading, I don’t want real; I want fantasy. And pardon me if all the books I like are categorized under ‘young adult’…don’t judge me.

My favorite books are, not surprisingly, the Harry Potter series. I like Twilight despite the fact that it has sparkling vampires, Bella has no personality and that Edward acts more like a control-freak father than a boyfriend. I’ve read the Mortal Instruments series and enjoyed it, too, though now I can’t remember a whole lot of what happened in those because I devoured them so quickly I failed to retain any details that weren’t absolutely pertinent to the core plot in the stories. I’ve read the Vampire Diaries books and have ascertained that this was several hours of my life wasted that I can never get back. I’m unbelieveably thankful to Kevin Williamson & Julie Plec who managed to save the sorry excuse for story-telling that the books were and turn them into something incredibly addicting in the show.

I’ve read the Vampire Academy series and the House of Night series. Liked the first very much and look forward to re-reading them in the future…can’t say much for the 2nd as I couldn’t get passed the bad writing and the fact that the 15 year old main character has about 5+ love interests within a 2 month period that spans across several books. I don’t usually abandon a series once I start it (even if I HATE it), but The House of Night was one that I don’t care to pick back up again. I care even less about how it ends than I do the Vampire Diaries books and I can’t read more than 2 pages of those without yawning or screaming into a pillow at the stupidity of it all. The point is that as much as I hate the VD books, I still buy them (to finish my collection) and read them (albeit slowly) because I care just enough about them Damon to want to know how it ends and also because I like making comparisons to the show. I would buy the House of Night books just to use them to build a campfire for my kids in the summer if I weren’t so concerned about the waste of money that would be.

I say all that to get to this; in all those books, love them or hate them, there is always at least one thing that I can point out that I wish would have been done differently or an ending that I take some sort of issue with. That’s not to say that all books should end the way I want them to or that I don’t absolutely love them just the way they are, but there’s always that one thing that I can honestly say “I wish _________ would have happened instead” or “but why did __________ happen?” And if neither of those is the case the only other issue I have is feeling empty after I’ve finished a particularly good book or series. Like it can’t end and I’m left needing more of it, which is an incredible feat for an author, but is a sort of hell for a reader.

That is not the case at all with the Hungar Games.

It is the first series I’ve ever read that I felt completely satisfied at the end. It was PERFECT. Not that I wouldn’t love to read more of them, but I feel like there is definite closure at the end of the 3rd one and it’s not of the “and they lived happily ever after” variety or an ending so sad that you feel like it was a waste to read the book. It’s a perfect balance of fantasy with just enough realism to it to make it totally believable and satisfying.

I kept thinking I would be able to predict certain things in the books and everytime I thought a certain thing would happen, there would be a great twist that would totally throw me off, which is a good thing because it kept me reading. (It took me a day to read each book. 3 days total to finish the series. I have 3 children, a husband, a job, voice lessons & band practices so just take a moment to let it sink in….you should see the state of neglect my house is currently in.) That’s why I like the Vampire Diaries (show) so much. It’s good writing. Everytime we think we can predict something in the show, the writers throw us a curve ball and something we never expected happens. That’s exactly how this book is. I had been predicting (or at the very least, hoping for) something throughout the whole series, but after having several of my predictions proven wrong or twisted a bit from what I envisioned, I finally gave up on the biggest prediction that I made for the book only to find out in the last two pages that I was finally right about something. And it was sweeter than I could ever have imagined because

A.) I had already given up on it happening & B.) because it didn’t happen the way I thought it would; it was even better.

Now I am going to go put on my Captain Obvious suit (complete with cape!) and say one more (very anti-climatic & redundant) thing:

I highly recommend the Hunger Games trilogy.

Now that I’ve gotten all that out of my system, I think I can finally go to sleep now 🙂

Emotional Schizophrenia: Susy, Nelly & Ed

Hi All!!

Not a lot to blog about today so I’m sparing you the over-long monologue!! Go ahead…do your happy dance! The end of the school year (in Germany – finally!) approaches!! Tomorrow is the last day!! I’m probably more excited than my little boy 🙂 I don’t really understand why they have to go tomorrow considering they will only be in school for 2 1/2 hours before they’re released, but whatever. I’ll send the kid with a white T-shirt so he can get it signed by all his friends before we head back to the states at the end of the month. I wish I could go to take pictures of him with all his friends for his scrapbook, but I have two little girls I have to stay at home with right now. I’ll save the “going to school with him” thing until he’s about 13 so I can thoroughly embarrass him – SCORE!

In other unrelated news, I’ve been reading this book that encourages one to take turns talking with another person (it’s meant to be your spouse) about their lives. (Supposedly, it ties in with reinforcing the topic of the book, which is irrelevant right now.) You’re supposed to start off talking about your life from birth to age nine with no comments, analysis or interruptions from the other person. Then you separate, let it sink in and then the other person can come back later on and ask questions, make comments  (positively of course) ect…

Then, the following day, the talking/listening roles are reversed. The day after that, you talk about your life from ages 10-15 and then the next conversation is on 16-21 switching up who does the talking/listening each day. The point is to get a momentum in conversation going, rebuild communication skills, ect and eventually start talking about new/harder topics as you progress through the book. But, while thinking about what I would say for myself, I realized exactly how much I tend to hold on to the bad things that have happened in my life more than I do the good ones. It’s like somehow the awful stuff cancels out my good memories. I literally can’t think of any happy event that occurred during certain times because the negative stuff over-shadows it so completely that it’s as if nothing good ever existed during that period. Does this happen to anyone else? Do you have moments in your life or ages that you associate specifically with something bad? Or am I totally crazy? I like to think that I’m not consistently a negative person, but I’m a little worried here…what if I really am a “Negative Nelly”? Haha…pardon the cheesy nickname. I get it; we can’t all be “Susy Sunshine” all the time, but there has to be some light even in the bad stuff, doesn’t there? [Again, my lack of creativity when it comes to naming emotional personalities is astounding.] My brain is getting whiplash from all the back & forth between Susy & Nelly. These two really hate eachother, by the way. I need to create some neutral personality to put between the two of them (& possibly other opposing schitzo-feelings I might have) to be the referee. I wonder if Ed Hochuli will come live in my brain…

Until next time –