The Most Generous A-hole I Know

To my husband,

Today, we have been married for 14 years. In that time, you have both amazed and irritated me in almost equal measure. I want to dedicate this post to telling you how much I love & appreciate you, with specifics! Don’t worry, as you read through these your head may inflate a little, but you can count on me to keep you humble. 😉

These are not listed by importance, and I couldn’t possibly list everything, but I figured it would be okay since we’re going to have a whole lifetime to add to it. ❤

So, here goes. I love and appreciate you for many reasons, but here are just a few:

  • The K-cups you buy just for me even when we don’t really have the money
  • We could have $.11 in our bank account, $4 in your wallet, $2.37 in change in my ash tray, & a handful of pennies from underneath the couch, but as long as we had a full tank of gas in the truck you would still buy me Chick-Fil-A if I asked. It’s insane, unnecessary, and super sweet. PS – I’m hungry.
  • The way you bring me coffee in bed


  • The frequent breakfasts in bed, especially when those breakfasts are pizza.

    Did I mention I’m hungry?
  • The fact that you actually seem to enjoy spending time with me enough to make an effort to do so; even when our lives are chaotic and our schedules only sync up long enough to enjoy one meal or movie together, you △⃒⃘lways make time for me.
  • You kinda sorta almost smile at my dorky puns. Sometimes you laugh. That’s how I know you’re in a really good mood. Or high.
  • You listen to me. Mostly. I joke that you don’t, but I rarely mean it. When it’s important stuff regarding our relationship, our children, or any other big decision (like not buying another motorcycle or setting our house on fire), you try very hard to take my feelings into consideration.
  • You remember little things: the way I like my coffee, certain foods I like or don’t like, my favorite drinks, things I said when I was 16 (which has never, ever come back to bite me in any way whatsoever) and you also remember what I said as early as yesterday.
  • You are gracious about it when I need time for myself. It doesn’t matter if I need 15 minutes, an entire day, or a weekend. You’ve become very thoughtful and patient with me in that area and I can’t thank you for that enough. I hope you know that I will always do the same for you.
  • Vanilla Frappuccino’s.
  • I love and appreciate the way you love me when the kids are watching. Okay, so maybe the butt-grabbing is a little inappropriate and embarrassing, but everything else is okay. 😉 I don’t think we’re doing a terrible job of exemplifying a healthy, loving, supportive marriage. They say the best thing you can do for your kids is to love their mother and you’re doing an amazing job in that department.
  • Thanks for saying ‘I love you’ too much.
  • For always giving me a kiss before you leave, even if it’s just outside to the carport.
  • You open doors for me even when no one is watching.
  • You do not try to slide my chair back and up for me at restaurants. I’m not sure if that’s because you know I’m way too clumsy for that to end well so I prefer to do it myself, or if it’s because we generally only dine in restaurants with booths and crayons…either way, thank you.
  • You know that I’m capable of handling my own business – opening my own doors, getting my own food, carrying my own groceries, coming up with my own solutions, defending myself, etc – but I don’t always have to.
  • there-are-two-kinds-of-people-f-e-damn-i-16121363
    Thanks for being the first kind of person & for teasing me about being the second. 🙂
  • You are sweet to both our moms. You call them both “old farts” and make jokes about them having changed Jesus’ diapers, but you’re still pretty sweet to them. I appreciate that.
  • You have not decapitated my life-size Dean Winchester cardboard cut out. Probably just because it was a gift from my sister and not because I like him, but still…thanks for not killing Dean.
  • If I’m going to mention my Dean Winchester cut-out I have to also give you credit for not shredding the Damon Salvatore pillowcase also gifted to me from my sister. Especially since I actually sleep with that one.
  • You have this habit (that drives me CRAZY) of not eating until I do. It’s annoying because I often end up eating when I’m not hungry just because I know you are hungry and I’m fluffier than I’d like to be as a result; however, it’s still a sweet gesture & I appreciate where your heart is.
  • When the kids talk back, break rules, or fail to obey something I said, whether you agree or disagree, you are often the first to say something to them on my behalf. We could be in the middle of a disagreement about what course of action to take and as soon as one of the kids tries to take advantage of that, your super intimidating Dad Voice suddenly comes out all, “you will respect my wife” and stuff.
  • I kinda like how you say “my wife” when “your mother” would be just as appropriate.
  • You don’t complain at all much when I warm up my cold feet on you at night
  • I love when you warm up my side of the bed before I get in it during the winter months
  • You go to church with me. I am pretty certain that even if you didn’t also enjoy the church we go to, you would still go with me if I asked you. That, to me, is HUGE.
  • You support any stupid thing I want to do. I could say I want to take a course in basket weaving and you’d ask me when it starts. Admittedly, I get a little frustrated at your lack of enthusiasm when I’m trying to share certain things with you: my hobbies, my goals, my accomplishments. But, I do understand that your lukewarm responses are not meant to be discouraging; it’s just how you are. You may not jump up and do a jig or anything, but you support me in a thousand other, very practical ways. ***Still, I would like to use this opportunity to ask you to at least send me an excited gif if you can’t manage to muster a solid smile on your own face. Lol


  • I sometimes wonder if you’re even capable of objectivity where I’m concerned. Read the previous point again. If I ever say I want to take a course in basket weaving, or cat herding, or hippo racing – you may want to ask some other questions besides how much it costs and when it starts. Sometimes I just need someone to tell me that something isn’t a good idea, but I kinda love that you’re not that person for me. You seem to think I can do any damn thing I put my mind to. Even herd cats, and nobody can do that.
  • You make me laugh when I REALLY, REALLY don’t want to. When I’m in one of those foul moods where I don’t want anyone to come near me or touch me or even bat an eyelash in my direction, you can usually do something crazy, immature, impolite or inappropriate and I end up laughing in spite of myself. It annoys me & I’m grateful for it.
  • You are reading this list even though you don’t particularly like to read. Never mind the fact that I’m making you…
  • We complement each other. I haven’t always regarded our very evident differences as a strength – or even something to be grateful for – and I’m sorry for that, but I definitely see it as such now. Where I am weak, you are usually strong & vice versa. We’re just better together.
  • I love you for remembering that my primary love language is words of affirmation & for all the nice things you said about me today. If you haven’t done that yet, don’t worry, you will. 😉
  • I love you for finding the above statement charming rather than bossy.
  • You respect my intolerance of mayonnaise enough to make your own damn sandwich.
  • In 14 years we have never had a single argument about who should make whose plate. You do it for me. I do it for you. We both do it for the kids. I know this seems small, but for reasons I can’t adequately explain right now, it’s huge to me. Thank you for not expecting me to carry all the plates and wear all the hats when you’re home to help me.
  • You tell me I’m beautiful even when I look like this (& worse):


  • Relationships take work and through all of our peaks and valleys you have △⃒⃘lways shown up ready to get your hands dirty. ❤
  • Thank you for being someone I can respect. We may disagree on a lot of things & express ourselves in vastly different ways, but our core values are pretty much the same. You are △⃒⃘lways true to your word & I appreciate that about you.
  • I love that you’re so sweet to animals & old people. I wish you were that sweet to our kids, but I guess we can’t have everything. giphy
  • Sarasota. ❤
  • For being the reason we got to experience Germany
  • NOLA
  • For our future trip to a certain Brewery in Texas….
  • For all of this & more:

Happy Anniversary. Here’s to many more:






K…an We Talk About Text Etiquette?

Good Morning Friends! Happy Friday! (If you’re reading this from Facebook, for the love of all that is holy, just CLICK THE LINK. Thank you) 🙂

Now that the 30 day 60 day blog challenge is over, it’s time to talk about something else & today I want to talk about the alphabet. There are numerous languages, each having its own unique means of written communication, but for today we are going to focus on the English alphabet; just 26 letters is all it takes to create all the words you see here & many, many more. It’s pretty amazing when you think about it. We can say anything we want to say with the use of just 26 letters, & maybe the occasional emoji (or not so occasional if you’re like me & people don’t know you’re kidding unless you use a smiley at the end of everything). What happens when we have all these magnificent options at our disposal and we choose to use only one of them? You know which one. That’s right…the obnoxious “K.”


We’re all probably guilty, but let’s examine this for a moment. Why do we do this? Are we just getting so many texts that all we can manage to muster is a single letter before we move on to the next text? Like celebrities: when you get their autograph they always write “best wishes” or something arbitrary followed by an “x” (or an “xo” if you’re really lucky) and a scribble that looks vaguely like it might contain at least one actual letter of their name. Then you get shoved down the line so the super important celebrity can lather, rinse & repeat with the hundreds of people behind you. Are we that important that we can’t wrangle up at least one extra letter? “OK,” perhaps? (Though, to be honest, that’s probably only marginally less annoying than “K.”)

What about the days when you were charged by the text, both incoming and outgoing? I can’t be the only one who got more than a little annoyed when someone cost me 10 cents just to say, “K.” For 10 cents you better have been sending me a full sentence complete with no unnecessary shorthand & proper punctuation.


I know the point I made above is now considered moot since the majority of us are fortunate enough to be on some sort of plan which allows for unlimited texting, so why is this “K” thing still so annoying? For me there are two reasons:

1.) “K” has too many possible interpretations.

K, what?

As in, “Ok, Cool,” “I’m looking forward to it,” or ‘K’ as in “whatever. I’m done talking to you, you chatty nerd.” Or, “I’m sorry, my hands were bitten off by a t-rex & I can only text with my nose. ‘K’ is the best I can do.” The most terrifying thing to go through my mind might be, “K. Because I’m going to feed you to a shark. Shark has K in it.”


135ee6abbb34c616b6b3144d97f77e65-jpgWhat do you mean?! There are no tonal clues with the letter K. There are no facial cues, no body language we can assess to determine if this letter is friendly or if this letter has nefarious, diabolical plans which include me ending up with a hole in my neck. Those of us with anxious brains prone to over-thinking need answers to these questions.


2.) Time. I am busy. Maybe not I get 5000 texts in a day because I’m so important busy, but I do have a husband, 3 kids, a small business, a need to take time out to exercise, errands to run, a dog to walk, bills to pay, homework to help with, & endless amounts of laundry & dishes to do. I’m busy the way most of us are busy so while my time may not be any more or less important than yours, stopping what I’m doing to find my phone (which, at this point, is basically always on a charger which is not in the same room with me) just to read one lonely letter & nearly have a panic attack over the possible meanings of that letter & how to respond (or not), feels like a waste of time, energy, & internet data.

Bonus reason: while I know this is not always the intention, it can be rude.

Of course, we’re all going to do it every now and then, but if you frequently reply with a letter when I’m trying to have a conversation with you, please know that I’ve thought about cutting you.

Me: Hey, love! How are you?

Them: k

Me: K, good? or K, bad?

Them: just k

Me: There is no such thing as “just k.”

Them: k

Me: *screams*


Can you relate? Does ‘K’ bother you? Why or why not? Do you have any fun reasons to add or creative responses to people who frequently do the ‘K’ thing? I’m planning a post on how to respond to ‘K’ and I’d love to see your best answers!

Aesop Is My Homeboy

My recent posts from Tuesday & Wednesday actually had a sort of Aesop’s Fable thing happening so I’m here today to conclude my point. And yes, I actually have one that isn’t entirely silly. Imagine that!

To sum it up for those of you too lazy to read the previous, surprisingly short (coming from me) posts:

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger unless:

  • It’s a number of things that make you weaker. I should have put pneumonia on that list.

If it does kill you…well, that’s unfortunate. I hope you’re right with God.

If it kills you AND makes you stronger, that means it was a vampire. In which case, I will be hopping on the first train to Mystic Falls because if vampires are real, I don’t think it’s that big a stretch to assume that a supposedly fictional town is real. That would indicate that Damon Salvatore really exists, in which case I must find, hogtie and marry him immediately. (How does one go about hogtying a vampire?)

Based off this recap alone, only Tuesday’s post was Aesop Fable material. The rest of it is just useless, nonsensical mind-poop that has the potential to get me committed with a disturbing amount of haste unless you actually read the post and then you know my point there was to stop being so afraid of everything! Anything can end your life at any moment so take all the opportunities you can because you might not get them again. But everybody knows this already (whether they do it or believe it) so that wasn’t my central point.

You wanna know the real purpose here? (It’s my blog; I can say “wanna” if’n I wanna.)

What doesn’t kill you doesn’t necessarily make you stronger so what does it do? I’ve come up with something. Feel free to disagree or to use it whenever appropriate; whichever.

What doesn’t kill you makes you…live longer.

My superior genius led me to that conclusion so don’t feel bad if you didn’t think of it first. It’s true isn’t it? And so profound, right? What doesn’t kill you does, in fact, mean you live longer. But consider this:

Living Longer = Getting Wiser (Unless you’re Gina.)

Getting Wiser = Being Smarter

Smarts = Knowledge

Knowledge = Power

Power is just another for word for …


So maybe what doesn’t kill you does make you stronger…if you let it.

.357s & Bigotry; Dangerous Combination

Monday: looks disgruntled.

Tuesday: looks smugly between Monday & Wednesday.

Wednesday: is plain jealous.

Monday: *takes off his black-rimmed coke-bottle glasses, snatches his pants down to his knees & put on his “gangface”* Why you actin’ like you Friday, Tuesday? You ain’t bad.

Tuesday: looks at Monday like he’s lost his marbles. “Thug” doesn’t suit you, Monday. Just stop. 

Monday: nervously readjusts pants & places glasses back on. Leaves his gold tooth in…

Wednesday: Stupid as he sounds, he’s got a point. You’re being awfully snooty, Tuesday. What have you done now?

Tuesday: whistles innocently. Oh nothing. It’s just that I kick the  of everything on either side of me. I don’t get too many days to revel in awesomeness so excuse me if I’m trying to milk it.

Monday: Well can you hurry up and get all that pretentious bull-dookie out of your system? I’m ready to get back to our regularly scheduled blandness, thank you very much. *briefly flashes gold tooth*

Friday & Saturday (in unison): Bland!? Speak for yourself!

Monday: rolls eyes.

Tuesday: Fine. I was Bethy’s 8th anniversary. Beat THAT!

Wednesday: Okay, I will. Wasn’t it Monday who got the Anniversary title last year? Big whoop, Tuesday. Nobody cares. Also, you are the one that a certain unforgettable Autobahn Fiasco belongs to so I wouldn’t feel too self-important.

Tuesday: bristles. That’s not the only thing! I’m the one who gave her the whole day with her husband!

Monday: Uh uh. I believe that was her parents, Tuesday. You didn’t give birth to her did you? You didn’t watch her children did you?

Tuesday: says nothing.

Monday: Didn’t think so.

Tuesday: I’m still special. All that happened on ME! And, she got 2 amazing other things so *sticks tongue out at other days of the week*

Thursday: Well I don’t care what you say, Tuesday. I’m more special than all of you because I am Vampire Diaries day. Tell me; what beats that in Bethyland?

All other days of the week: look down despairingly  in unison.

Friday: If I remember correctly, Thursday – right now, your Top of the List Awesomness is on hiatus until March 15th so don’t get cocky. There’s plenty of room for the rest of us to get put at the top of the list while you’re chillin’ at the bottom.

Thursday: runs off to find Katherine & devise a masterful plan to regain the title of ‘Bethy’s Favorite Day of the Week’.

End Scene.

That was getting tedious. By the way, Thursday will resume its usual place of prominence on my list of favorites on March 15th & no earlier. Unless, of course, Ian Somerhalder shows up at my doorstep on a Thursday – then I’ll immortalize that day in my heart forever. [And I’ll probably pee a little, too.]

Why don’t I just tell you that yesterday was the most amazing day ever (other than my minions being born) and be done with it? Well, mostly because that would be boring, nobody would read it and because I already wasted 30 minutes coming up with that ‘The Days of the Week Personified’ nonsense.

But to give a quickish recap of why yesterday was great, here are some highlights:

  • It was mine & the hubby’s 8 year anniversary (as previously mentioned)
  • I got to spend the whole day uninterrupted with my husband and we actually had fun rather than just driving around aimlessly wondering what we were going to do. We ate, we saw a movie, we spent too much money.
  • We went to a shooting range. Some girls get flowers on their anniversary. I went home with a .357 Ruger. I LOVE my husband!


Also on my list of fabulous things that happened yesterday:

Ladies & Gentlemen,

You are now looking at reading the blog of one of the new Vampire Diaries Fansite’s news writers! So not only do I get to share my regular mind poop with you, I also get to share vampire-related obsessiveness with thousands of other people. I’m hoping this will lead to my marriage to Ian Somerhalder, but I won’t count on it. I’d have to commit bigotry in order for this to happen, but I don’t think hubs #1 would hold it against me since he just bought me a gun. I mean, look at this guy. Would you pass that up?

So what should my first TVD article on the fan site be about? Opinions & suggestions not only welcome, but wanted needed. 🙂

Turkey Vs. Vampire

Bald Eagle/USFWSFranklin with his famous fur capEastern Wild Turkey, Gary M. Stolz/USFWS

I have (once again) been inspired by my brother’s weirdness. He and I are creepily similar except for the fact that he has a love for history (which is how we got into the conversation that prompted the google-search that prompted this post), where as I do not. I can appreciate fascinating history (but what’s fascinating to any one person is all subjective so does that even count?) or beautiful architecture, but for the most part, I am not one for remembering dates or even names for that matter. And the things I do remember are awesome – but useless – trivia such as what follows.

Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to his daughter detailing how he thought the Turkey would have made a better symbol than the Bald Eagle for our country’s national bird. For the actual article/web page I found this on, CLICK HERE. <—you should. It’s interesting! (Found at:

Here is an excerpt of the letter pulled from the site listed above:

Franklin’s Letter to His Daughter (excerpt)

“For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead Tree near the River, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the Labour of the Fishing Hawk; and when that diligent Bird has at length taken a Fish, and is bearing it to his Nest for the Support of his Mate and young Ones, the Bald Eagle pursues him and takes it from him.

“With all this Injustice, he is never in good Case but like those among Men who live by Sharping & Robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank Coward: The little King Bird not bigger than a Sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the District. He is therefore by no means a proper Emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have driven all the King birds from our Country…

“I am on this account not displeased that the Figure is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America… He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.”

And the funny part is that I totally agree after having read this! At first I was thinking, “A turkey? Really? Like…Gobble-gobble-jiggly-necked-thanksgiving-dinner turkies?” But this totally changed my perspective.

And then I got to thinking: What else could have been a great symbol of America? And why did it have to be a bird?

My brother came up with bears, but upon further examination we discovered that bears are mean, violent creatures that pretty much attack anything in sight. America is full of bada$$es, but we’re not bullies (by nature) (I don’t think…….) (Wait…ARE we bullies?) so we ruled that one out.

Skunks aren’t a good choice because they smell and run from everything.

Deer just like to get hit by oncoming traffic. My brother likes the idea of O’Possums being representative of America, but it’s for military-related reasons and I’m not fond of being represented by an animal that plays dead in the freeway.

I would have liked lions or tigers, but unfortunately, those are not native to America and aren’t even ON the list, much-less able to be crossed off of it.

A tree full of buzzards awaits their favorite meal... Meat a la Rot

A friend of mine on facebook suggested buzzards with the argument that they eat things on the side of the road even when there is the threat of oncoming vehicles, but that just suggested cannibalism to me and I’d rather not be seen as a flesh-eating bottom-feeder.

Ducks came up. The only thing we could glean from that is that AFLAC would then be the mandatory form of insurance. And then what would our words-to-live-by be? A duck prancing around quacking the word “aflac, aflac” all day, over and over again. While that’s funny for insurance, it’s not so great as the American motto. {I pledge allegiance to the duck of the United States of America & to the republic for which it quacks, one nation in the pond, indivisible, with liberty and insurance for all.}

This is where it gets funny. A friend of mine (the same friend responsible for the buzzard idea, no less) suggested the wolf would be a great symbol for America. And I thought that was a fantastic suggestion! Only when she said it, she was referencing this wolf:

and not this one:


Which, of course, got me to thinking about today’s America which is so full of vampires it’s insane! A vampire should be modern America’s mascot. But what about this theory that our symbol has to be a bird? That could go so many ways with a vampire. Some stories say they turn into bats. Bats have wings! Which makes them, in my opinion, part of the bird family. Like the birds’ 2nd cousins twice removed or something. But what about vampires that don’t turn into anything?

Hello America. I'm your new national symbol.

Like Eric Northman, for instance. He doesn’t turn into a bat. He’s not a bird. But wait – He can fly! In my humble opinion, that puts him in the ‘bird’ category. In a very sexy, wingless, blood-drinking bird category, but a bird nonetheless. But if being an American native is one of the pre-requisites, Eric gets crossed of the list, too. He was a viking.

Then you have stories like Twilight and The Vampire Diaries (let’s see how many posts I can incorporate TVD into – I bet it’s a lot!) where the vampires don’t fly, but have other supernatural powers such as mind-reading, sparkling in the sun (which is more of a hinderance in the love department than it is a super-power), compulsion or anti-exploding-in-the-sunlight rings made by witches whose only other useful function is lighting candles with their brains. What do these vampires say about America? There’s a lot of good & evil at play here, super-powers, magic, romance, history…

blood-drinking, destruction, danger, death… (Let’s overlook that part for now, shall we?)

It could work. So as our representative American symbol, I’m opting for… *drum roll please* (And I know my mother will approve!)…..

Damon Salvatore. *Swoon*

If he was America’s national symbol, people would quickly learn not to mess with us. [Like Ben’s argument about the Turkey, except Damon is handsome, too! (Like the Eagle….best of both birds!)] He’s smart, he’s ruthless when he needs to be, but capable of compassion. He’s strong, fast, funny, sarcastic, doesn’t trust too easily & doesn’t hesitate in a fight. He comes with a handful of crazy vampires for backup. He doesn’t have to gobble or squawk at people because he can effectively deliver a speech; a speech that people will happily listen to because not only is he an eloquent speaker when he gets the chance to deliver more than just his awesome one-liners, but his looks alone would motivate every American female and dude with a man-crush to tune in. It doesn’t hurt that he’s well-dressed either. Congratulations Ian Somerhalder; the day after the Grammy’s and your character, after careful consideration & evaluation, has been awarded the role of Unbeatable American National Sex Symbol.

Vampire Rehab & A Tea Bag (or 2)

I posted a new photo blog 🙂 It’s only one picture, but I promise it’s a good one! :: I’m Such A Tease… :: <—Click it…or ticket! No? Bad Georgia joke…sorry. I just couldn’t resist.

What’s new for Thursday other than the horribly depressing fact that The Vampire Diaries won’t be on tonight? Yes, I’m so distraught over this information that it warrented mentioning in the beginning of my post. I mean, once you get into this (hello ian somerhalder…*sigh*) it’s kinda hard to live without. (Even if it is only for 2 weeks.) Stupid hiatus. I guess I’ll have to spend my Thursday in Vampire Rehab acting like an adult instead of a show/celeb-obsessed tween. To fill the incalculable gap TVD’s absence has left in my soul week, I’ve decided to share some questions that have been nagging at me for a while. Answer them if you can 🙂

1.) How does the guy who runs the snowplow get to work in the morning?

2.) Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you can go back?

3.) Why do companies offer “free gifts?” Since when have GIFTS not been FREE?

4.) If something goes without saying, why do people still say it?

5.) If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is it homeless or naked? (I shared this one on FB recently. I got the answer “Both” really quickly. Seems pretty accurate to me!)

6.) For those that use the teabags pictured (the ones that are actually 2 teabags connected into one giant rectangle), how do you count these? Is this one teabag or is it two teabags? And if you tell someone to put 6 teabags in a pot, do they put 3 of these rectangular thingies in the pot or do they put in 6 of them? To me, that makes it 12 & I don’t know if I want a gallon of tea that’s been brewed with 12 teabags. Case in point – be careful who you let make your tea!

7.) If you try to fail, & succeed, which have you done?

8.) Who’s cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an S in it?

9.) What hair color do they put on the licenses of bald men?

10.) If “quitters never win” & “winners never quit,” how can it be wise to “quit while you’re ahead?”

11.) Why is it that it’s called a shipment when you transport something in a car (or anything with 4 wheels) but when you transport it on a ship it’s called cargo?

12.) How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? Or father jokes for that matter?

13.) If you set to work with a knife that will cut through anything & Tupperware that’s guaranteed not to break, what happens?

14.) Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for monosyllabic?

15.) Why do they say “new and improved?” If it was improved, then it’s not really new; it’s just…improved.

16.) Why do some boxed/bagged/canned dinners still maintain that they are “fresh?” Fresh definition: Adj: Not previously known or used; new or different. Adverb: Newly; recently. When I think of the word fresh in relation to food, I think about strawberries that I just picked, not the can of spam that’s been sitting in a cabinet for two months. 

That’s it for today, folks! Got lots of work to do. I’ll be busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kickin’ contest. Have fun trying to answer those questions &/or adding your own 🙂

Try to have a happy Thursday without vampires…I know it’s hard, but there is help. & Lucky for you, I have posted it below.

Dear Monday;

Dear Monday,

I know most people usually go on & on about how much they hate you, but I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you that I do not hate you. In fact, I love you! At least this Monday, August 1st, 2011. Would you care to know why? Of course you would! Monday never gets love letters. Friday, Saturday, Sunday….they all get love letters.

Wednesday is widely & affectionately known as hump-day while Thursday is generally liked solely for it’s close proximity to Friday, but Monday is continuously shunted for being most everyone’s typical first day of the work-week. Back to the daily monotony of life – yada, yada, yada; blah, blah, blah & so on & so forth.

I think it’s time you got some credit for being super-fantastically-awesome.

So, here you are: Your very own “I Heart Monday” List!

I Heart Monday…because this Monday is my sweet & extra special nephew’s 5th birthday! It would be so much cooler if I could be with him today, but you’ve managed to make it up to me, Monday. Read further people…you’ll see why!

♥I Heart Monday♥…because this Monday is the day my amazing husband got his orders back. Does anyone besides Monday & myself know what this means? It means that I could be with the rest of our family by this weekend!!! (^this was the whole reason for this post!^)

I Heart Monday…because it is the day I first saw this. Watch. It speaks for itself.

Yes, I’ve been having a bit of TVD withdrawal, hence the reason I’ve been making so many TVD related things.

I Heart Monday…because of my aforementioned TVD withdrawal syndrome & all the stuff I’ve been making, I made my first ever wallpaper. Of course, dork that I am, it’s TVD related.

Mine is HUGE so I had to make this tiny version for everyone else to see 🙂


CLICK HERE TO SEE A SCREENSHOT OF WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE ON MY COMPUTER. (Yeah, I’m dorky like that. I thought we established this already?)

I can make one that fits your screen exactly so if you’re just as dorky & unashamed as I am, feel free to leave your screen res in the comments & I’ll reply with a link to where you can download this wallpaper for yourself 🙂 If you don’t know your screen res you can always go here to find out:


Moving on-

I Heart Monday…because of all the great news you’ve brought me!

I Heart Monday…because my son was born on a Monday 🙂 That Monday also happened to be my grandaddy’s birthday, too. ♥

I Heart Monday…because we didn’t have a horrible wreck on Monday. That was a Tuesday…bleh. [Dear Tuesday, do not think even for a second that you are getting a love letter from this girl anytime soon.]

I Heart Monday…because it’s the *usual* first day of the week when my children will all be going back to school again and I will have mommy time! 🙂 Or wait…ME time; that’s what I’m having. I have mommy time every second that the kids are here; when they’re gone, I am not “Mommy”- I am just “Bethy.”

I Heart Monday…because it feels like a fresh start, being the beginning of a new week & all ;D

I Heart Monday…because it’s a chance to share my weekend ‘up-to-my-eyeballs-in-my-kids’-poop’ stories with innocent by-standers. Speaking of–

Alright, alright! I’ll spare you. This time.

There is no shortage of reasons why you’re all kinds of spifftastical, Mr. Monday, but this is where I have to end the list for now. You & I have lot’s of tasks to accomplish together & we will never get anything done if I don’t stop going on about how amazing you are.

Lot’s of love,


To everyone else, feel free to give Monday some props in the comments! I think they’re overdue! But a warning: No “Tuesday is awesome!” comments because Tuesday & I are currently not speaking, thank you very much. I am boycotting Tuesday until further notice. [Yeah, that’s right, Tuesday…go ahead. Grovel for my forgiveness.]

Also, don’t forget to post your screen res if you want one of those nifty backgrounds I made 😛 And don’t laugh…you may not like TVD the way I do or even vampires for that matter, but there’s no denying that this dude is *a hem* very, very pretty *goofy grin* which is a reason to watch in & of itself.

I’d listen to me. I’m a pretty smart girl 😉

My Subconscious is a Genius

Yup, doing yet another dream post.

This is the last one at least until I have some other freakishly weird or funny dream that bears repeating.

There was lots of stuff going on in this one. At one point, I was staying in this insanely large house that had clay sculptures stuck to the side of it. HUGE clay sculptures. For some reason, we were sticking with the pirate theme. There were pirate ships, swords, mermaids…

That’s all I remember about that before the scene switched to me walking down a hallway in a school. The inside actually looked like Park Elementary where I used to go as a kid. I was on a cellphone and I could hear both my husband and my sister trying to talk me at the same time on the phone. The reception was full of static and I kept trying to get to a place where I could hear them better. Before that happened, the call was lost and I found myself in front of a door. There were a bunch of people inside the teachers’ room and it looked like she had a big party going on for students and their parents. When I came in, she immediately knew who I was and the first words out of her mouth were extremely negative and all about my son. She was saying he wasn’t smart, didn’t work hard enough & how he wasn’t excelling. She said he told her he was trying (she didn’t believe him) and also that he told her he worked on his homework for an hour each night and she shook her head there as well. She said there is no way he could be working that hard. I had enough long before that because I knew how hard my baby was working and how good he was doing so I corrected her and told her that I sat with him while he worked on his homework and he always did very well. She accused me of lying so of course, I went off on her. While I was defending my son and my parenting skills, I said something to the effect of always trying my best when it comes to my family and she said “Well, I guess your best isn’t good enough, is it?”

I wanted to punch her right in her smug face and I may have because I remember reaching out towards her, but before my hand could actually connect, the scene switched to me being pissed in the hallway and looking for the principles office so I could complain about that hag.

I went up and down the halls searching until I found two faculty members and asked them where I needed to go. They took this giant square piece out of the wall (?) and we all walked through to an area that looked like a front office, but was littered with so many faculty members sitting on their boo-tays that you would have thought it was a teachers’ lounge. I was told the principle was not in by Chandler Bing of all people.
Guess I’ve been watching too many Friends re-runs. I can’t believe I didn’t talk to him more because Chandler and Phoebe are absolutely my favorite characters from the show, but whatever. I asked for a principle, he told me there was none so I turned around and who was there? Vampire Bill. That’s right people, I had a little True Blood in my dream. 

What I want to know is why it couldn’t have been Eric!? 

So moving on…





I looked at Vampire Bill and his eyes were the most vivid shade of green. I commented on it telling him his eyes were the most lovely shade of green and his response was “so is asbestos.” That’s not random at all is it? And come to find out, asbestos really is either white or green. I googled it. Even my subconscious knows stuff I don’t. Because I am such a nerd, I found this particularly cool.

Then, I asked Bill if I could talk to him about my frustrations and ever the gentleman (ick! It’s Bill!) he got up and walked with me so we could talk. I started running my mouth while we strolled along the hall and he was very patiently listening until out of nowhere my husband materialized and started walking with him and talking while Vampire Bill trailed behind us just watching. It was getting dark inside the school and we finally made it to a bathroom with a bunch of stalls (of course, it IS a school…), but the funny thing was that it still looked like we were outside under the moonlight. I guess it’s because Vampire Bill was with us and he can’t go out in the sun…who knows. Anyway, there were all these plants and grass and vines…it looked like we were in a jungle bathroom. And right in the middle of all that, there was the rusted out body of a car. James and I decided to climb in it to talk while Vampire Bill circled around keeping watch. I remember feeling better after I talked to the hubby and getting out of the car, but that was the point I woke up so I have no idea what would have happened after that. I was really hoping I’d get some Eric Northman up in my dream or maybe some Damon Salvatore,
but sadly, I have no control over which eyegasmically hot vampires I dream about. *Sigh*