We’ll Always Have NOLA

10422967_10153079154294845_1695749929289341744_nHow many of you can recall the best trip you’ve ever taken, right off the top of your head, no time to think, you just know what it is without hesitation? It’s probably a lot more difficult if you’ve been on a lot of trips, yes? Well, I haven’t so I know what mine is without having to think about it too hard.

The time my husband and I went to New Orleans for our 11th wedding anniversary. I didn’t post about it on my blog because I was a really bad blogger then – the kind of blogger that didn’t blog ; sadly, I don’t have a post that I can link back to in order to tell you about it. Most of our trip was catalogued on Facebook so I just took some brief screenshots and will post them here. I don’t even think the screenshots I took really cover the best parts of the trip, but another trait of a bad blogger is that I really don’t want to take the time to locate and (re)save the trillion photos I took just to share them here. Since I doubt anyone cares anyway, we’re just going to cut a few corners m’kay?

The best thing about it was that it was the first trip my husband and I ever got to take on our own. We spent a lot of time together, it was loud, fun & carefree, & everything we probably should have done early in our marriage, but were too busy being broke young parents to do.

I ate shrimp and grits, had my first beignet, saw tons of beautiful art & colorful city-life, heard fabulous (& some not-so-fabulous) street music, danced (badly), took a carriage ride, had the best Hurricane (#NotKatrina), saw Marie Laveau’s tombstone as well as Nicholas Cage’s very pretentious future resting place, stopped to watch some street performers, saw a show that was supposed to be burlesque and turned out not to be at all

I had my palm read for the first time ever in Jackson Square. Supposedly for free, but by the time she got done reading my husband’s palm, doing a tarot reading and telling us about our guardian angels…well, we were definitely hustled and I’m not even mad about it. I wish I could tell you exactly what that trip meant to me, but I believe it’s one of those things that can only be felt. I hope to go on many more trips & see a thousand places before I leave this earth, but if I don’t, at least we’ll always have NOLA.

Care to share your favorite trip? Have you been to New Orleans? What was your favorite thing there? Would you like to go? What would be your dream vacation?

 

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Only A Rare Unicorn Could Stop At Five…

Blog Challenge, Day 7: My 5 Favorite Songs

Much like quotes, I don’t have favorite songs either. I have a favorite of the day or maybe the week, but not any all time favorites. Still, I’m going to give it a try. In no particular order:

In remembrance of friends and our adolescence, this will always be a favorite.

It’s true…girls go crazy over some Journey. I have some fun memories involving this song, one of my best friends, a starlit back road, windows down, & very loud, obnoxious singing voices. I’m posting the Glee version because it gives me some good memories with a different friend on a different day.

One of my current favorite songs. I relate to it, it reminds me of my Granddaddy, & I love the sound of Chris Stapleton’s voice & the way his albums sound like classic country, rock and a little bit of blues all in one.

I really want to put all the things by Thomas Rhett on this list, but I’m going to refrain because I only have two more spots left. Another song I relate to:

Last, but not least: my favorite pianist.

It was so hard to just pick five! What would be on your list?

🎵 …Because I’m Happy 🎵

Today is a good day.
 • My best friend gave birth to a gorgeous little girl last night & I woke up to pictures of her happy family, which put a big smile on my face. Knowing that I’ll get to see them soon makes me even happier.
 • I had a parent-teacher conference this morning and I only cried a little bit. *winning!* I also curled my hair. *trying too hard* *also winning*
 • I have orders in my Etsy shop that are all painted & waiting to be shipped.
 • Our bills are paid. Our pantry, fridge & freezer are stocked. I have gas in my car & my radio still works. (Not that it was ever in danger of not working; I’m simply thankful for it.)
 Regardless of all I have to celebrate and be thankful for, some days I feel like I can barely function. I over-analyze my interactions with people, & feel guilt & embarrassment over things which the logical, rational side of me knows are ridiculous. I wonder why I said this or that thing, or why I didn’t say something. I often feel inadequate; I’m not enough or I’m not doing enough. I take responsibility for things that couldn’t possibly be my fault, but I bet you I can twist it in my brain until it is. I am not gracious with myself when I make mistakes, no matter how small.
 I say that to say this:
I’m still happy. I am SO happy because I have so much to be happy about! But often, it takes an intentional effort on my part. I don’t just wake up burping sunshine & farting rainbows. I have to count my blessings and remind myself daily of all I have to be grateful for. I have to intentionally think positive thoughts & say positive things. I have to surround myself with positive people, which is a bit more challenging than you might think. I have to practice yoga daily. I have to pray & ask for help. I have to watch what I eat & stay the heck away from caffeine! (Which, unfortunately since I paint coffee mugs I have a hard time doing – I have to test them, right? *wink wink*) I have to interact with people, go for walks & get outside even when I don’t want to…especially when I don’t want to.
 Sometimes I do a pretty great job, like today. Sometimes I fail and I let my irrational feelings swallow me. Sometimes I just fake it, for my benefit as much as anyone else’s.
 So, if you’re reading this, maybe you could remember it; consider it the next time you interact with “a happy person.” That person you’ve rarely seen without a smile on their face, the one you might go to for a laugh, for comfort, for sound advice…
Remember that sometimes they need someone, too. They may be sad, anxious or struggling in some way and they won’t always say it for of fear of embarrassment, shame, or just not wanting to burden anyone else. Sometimes they cover their struggle with a blanket of humor. Sometimes they don’t know what to say or how to say it. Sometimes there’s nothing they can attribute their sadness to & they just don’t want to hear “what do you have to be upset about? There are people everywhere who have it so much worse.” I promise you they know that already. You might think those people already know they are loved, needed and necessary in the world, but they don’t always. Sometimes they need to be reminded.
Today I challenge you –  first – to remind someone how necessary they are because you never know when they might need to hear it, & secondly, not to take anyone’s smile for granted; they may have done a lot of work to put it there.
 ….And…that’s all the word vomit I’ve got for you today folks!
 Now, I am going to go lend myself to something productive. Happy Tuesday everyone! Thanks for reading. Comment &/or share if you feel so inclined. 🙂

Go (Un)Funk Yourself

I’ve noticed an unfortunate trend occuring in my life this year: I’ve been experiencing more bad days than good ones. I decided I’d like to do something about it. Here are just a few ideas. Every time I’m feeling off or in a funk (angry, morose, restless, melancholy, etc.) for no apparent reason…

  1. I may just drop where I stand and do random yoga poses. Upset with the kids or the hubs? Down Dog in the cereal isle. (Or the parking lot, living room, doctor’s office…wherever. Nevermind…scratch the doctor’s office. I’m not due for a colonoscopy just yet.) Anyway, the point is it’ll make them stop & wonder what the heck I’m up to & provide myself with endless entertainment in the form of private laughter and strange expressions. I just hope my butt crack isn’t showing & that there are no proctologists nearby.
That's me...doin' the yoga.
That’s me…doin’ the yoga.
  1. Make random monkey noises. Because why the hell not?
  2. Swear. It’s not productive. It helps nothing. But sometimes it just makes me feel like a ducking rockstar. 9f7
  3. Do my hair, put my face on…general girl stuff. 10568916_277400622445527_7297311134669757539_n
  4. Watch this. It never fails to put a smile on my face. 
  5. Or this: this always helps, too. 
  6. Sing!
  7. Bake pie. cherry-pie
  8. And then attempt to lure Dean Winchester with it. My trap will be an infallible, inescapable device consisting of a stick holding up a box which houses the delicious goodness that is pie, plus all the Busty Asians magazines Dean can wish for.
  9. And when that doesn’t work, I’ll just give the pie to my husband because he will actually appreciate it.
  10. Give myself a Jamicure.
  11. Ride a unicorn.
  12. Remember there are no unicorns & then make one out of a stick, a birthday party hat, & some glitter.
  13. Take my stick unicorn with me everywhere I go. It’ll be a conversation piece.
  14. Watch Disney movies. All of them! Except The Fox & The Hound. *evil eyes*
  15. Listen to happy music! And then listen to more happy music.
  16. Answer the phone a different way all day. First I’ll be Hermione. Then I’ll answer it and say, “it’s done, but there’s blood everywhere! What now?!” I can be Scottish, Polish, and a New Yorker all in one day. Maybe I’ll even answer it in the voice of Shrek.
  17. Respond to all my text messages in emoji’s only. article-2729871-20AA7A2200000578-266_306x447
  18. Respond to my texts in song titles only. Or just respond to them all with this video: 
  19. Dance in front of people because it will either make all of us laugh or cry and if you’re having a bad day, usually doing one of those will make it a little better.
  20. Day drink. Because that’s a healthy coping strategy. (Kidding Mom.)11713891_10153364570679845_1835697619543952316_o

What do you do when you’re in a funk? Talk to me!

Harry Potterotica & Why I Love It

No, I don’t actually like Harry ‘Potterotica’ so let’s go ahead and get that out of the way first. However, it is relevant. Between these two videos is everything I ever wanted to say on behalf of the treatment of women & the pornography industry which I absolutely detest. I wish I had even a speck of the talent & vision these two ladies have. And the best part? Somehow Harry Potter is involved & I love me some Harry Potter.

Disclaimer:

Before you click on either of these videos, please be aware that the content therein is not suitable for children or work. There is explicit language and sexual references in both (particularly the first), but at the same time, they are both profound and powerful. I hope that men and women alike will take a look at these and let the words sink in.

If you liked that one, feel free to like her Facebook page 🙂

That was Madiha Bhatti and the only place I’ve been able to find more about her is here. I think she’s pretty incredible. 🙂

Thanks for reading/watching and please feel free to share this post or any other ones that you may have liked. My post on what feminism is and is not would be a good one to go along with this one. 🙂 I want everyone to hear what these women are saying!! This is the world we’re raising young men and women in; the way we treat each other needs to change yesterday.

They’re Coming To Take You Away, HAHA!

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I believe the FBI or the CIA or the ABC’s (or whatever they call themselves these days) has/have infiltrated the music business. You know how just about anyone in show-biz can get away with pretty much everything? I always thought that it was just because they had the money to buy themselves out of trouble. That is, until today.

I still believe that they have the money to buy their way out of troublesome situations, but I’m also inclined to believe that the powers of law enforcement have even more enormous egos than that of the people in Hollywood and have therefore conspired not to let our entertainers think they run things by making a very sneaky power-play. I believe they’ve had a theoretical – how shall I word it? – “measuring contest” and despite the cast of Magic Mike’s best efforts, the law guys came out on top.

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Just hang with me for a second (no pun intended) while I explain my theory and how I came up with it.

It was The Script that started all this y’all. They put police sirens near the end of one of their songs. I know they’re not anywhere near the first artists to do this and I’ve had these same thoughts when I’ve heard sirens in other people’s music, but I didn’t have a blog then so that’s how y’all escaped without having to hear about it. 😛

My first thought was to tell the Musical Powers That Be that they really shouldn’t put sirens in songs owing to the logic that most people listen to their music in their cars and hearing sirens in the background is so disconcerting for the general traffic violating public that it could cause them to have a wreck and die. A bit dramatic? Perhaps.

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But, then as I thought more and more, it occurred to me that only those who are really guilty or crazy paranoid would have a reaction dramatic enough to cause them to wreck and die. The rest of us would be concerned – maybe look in our rearview mirror and/or tap the breaks slightly – for about a nanosecond before we realized, “okay idjit – it’s only the radio.”

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The guiltier of us would have a more pronounced response like slamming on the breaks so suddenly the car behind crashes into us.

The Super Guilty and Paranoid would be too consumed with trying to hide all the drugs to notice that it’s just the radio until several minutes have passed, the siren’s have faded, they’ve repented and asked God to please, please save them, become born again Christians and THEN – after all that – they would finally realize they aren’t in a prison cell with their very own Bubba or Big Susy to keep them company.

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That’s when it hit me. The record companies and law-enforcement have struck a deal. This is, in my opinion, what has kept rappers out of jail for so long. They just throw sirens into their music to appease the cops so they can continue getting arrested and released two hours later and the cops get the benefit of a simple scare-tactic they can use to “get” ANYBODY without actually getting them. It’s like a random gut-check – the ultimate prank.

So in conclusion, every time you slam on breaks because you heard a siren in your favorite song, a cop just punked you without even having to be there. Ashton Kutcher would be so proud.

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Roll A Big FAT One. Yeah, I said it.

Good Morning Readers & Fellow Bloggers!
I had a thought this morning while taking the kids to school. It’s okay to let that sentence send a little sliver of fear down your spine – I’m used to it.
Better now?
Good.
So I always have the radio on in my car. It doesn’t matter if we’re taking a long trip or going five minutes down the road, I always have music playing. I don’t really listen to morning shows so I switch the dials until I find something that makes my ears happy.
Today, I came across the radio-edit version of The Zac Brown Band’s song “Toes.” Love the band, love that song…ears are instantly happy.

But, I have a question concerning the interesting stupid censorship choice made in a particular lyric.

“I’m gonna lay in the hot sun and roll a big (bleep) one…”

The word they bleep is “fat.” FAT?! Out of all the possibilities they think our kids need to be shielded from the word fat?

Now, who in the world is in charge of deciding what words get censored? Because whoever it is needs to reevaluate that particular choice.

First, let me just drive home to everyone that radio edits come into play when one wants to shield innocent ears from drug, violence and sexual references. I totally get that. What I don’t get is why they chose to bleep the word “fat” if what they wanted to censor was a drug reference. Because even without that word in it the lyric is still “I’m gonna lay in the hot sun and roll a big one.” HOW is that not still clearly a drug reference?!?

If they were smart – which we’ve already established they’re not – they would have bleeped the word “roll” or the whole line or asked the band to write another lyric to fit that spot for radio rotation. Otherwise there’s just no point to censoring.

Honestly, I don’t care if they don’t censor because I personally would opt to either change the station if I didn’t want my kids to hear it or else actually discuss censor-worthy issues with them instead of trying to protect them from everything but that’s a totally different blog post.

But “fat?” Really?
I had to laugh out loud in the car and the kids got out at school probably thinking their mom had just gotten through rolling herself a big one. Censor that.

I’m Pretty Sure I Just Threw Up A Little…

I will vomit if I ever have to be subjected to this atrocity mistakenly labeled as music again. Go ahead…click the play button…I dare you.

Nothing like the threat of torture to perk people’s curiosity.

I could go on and on about why I hate it, but anyone with half a brain in their head & a modicum of self-respect already knows why. I don’t feel compelled to explain it to the rest of you frivolous, insipid airheads.

Jellybeans, Piano’s & Eels

Yesterday’s post is the catalyst for today’s post.

We talked about the fact that what doesn’t kill you doesn’t necessarily make you stronger, but now I want to talk about what does kill you. Morbid, right? I guess I’ve been watching too much 1000 Ways To Die on the Spike channel.

(Death By Eel was particularly gruesome. That link isn’t for the 1000 Ways To Die episode; it’s the news report on the real-life story, but it’s gross so if you’ve got a weak stomach, I suggest you don’t watch it. However, the part where the guy says “that is unfortunate” is probably the funniest thing I’ve heard all week because it’s like the understatement of the century. If that eel-guy is a ghost, I can guarantee he’s haunting you right now Mr. News Man because an eel in your rectum is a tad bit more than “unfortunate.” Of course, he’s probably coming to my house next because I totally just referred to him as “eel guy.”)

Now, if you want to see how good I am (or how obsessed & unstable I am, depending on who you ask) I am going to segue this topic into vampires. Do you believe it? If you’ve visited this blog for more than 5 minutes, I bet you do!

What kills you:

  1. Infected paper cuts (thanks TarBear!)
  2. Crazy people with guns
  3. Crazy people with sharp utensils of any sort
  4. Crazy people with things that crazy people crazily kill other people with
  5. Pillows (laid over your face by some individual with gorilla strength)
  6. Water. (If you stay under it too long, it has some….adverse effects.)
  7. Leather belts that just happen to be placed around your neck
  8. Death by Jellybean…in the throat (Thanks husband!)
  9. Piano on the head
  10. Mad Cow Disease

Bet you thought I was gonna put vampires in that list, didn’t you?  But no…I’m not quite that predictable! So there you are. With all the things it’s possible for you to die from, why are so many of us afraid of potentially harmless situations like…I don’t know…telling someone you like them. When a piano falls out of the sky and squashes them, you’ll really wish you had said something. You know…something like “Look out!” would be ideal.

While you think about other things that could kill you, I’ve got another list! I like lists 🙂

Things That Kill You AND Make You Stronger

  1. Vampires

(Okay, so maybe I am a little predictable.)