Things That Make Me Scream

Weekend Recap:

James missed school Thursday & Friday because of the whole cough thing (again…grrr). If he doesn’t progress to the 2nd grade after all of our hard work this year just because of missed days due to his teacher & the school nurse sending him home all the time….

I. Am. Going. To. SCREAM. <—-everything in this color is me screaming, m’kay?

I had photo sessions both Saturday & Sunday morning, but I haven’t looked through all the photos yet. I’m confident that we got a lot of great shots so I’m hoping I will be able to share some once I get started working on them. While I’m thinking about that, anyone who was looking for the tutorial on sharpening, I’m sorry! I had to take it down temporarily, but as soon as I get a chance, I’ll have it back up. I’m having a small issue with my photoshop program at the moment which is why it isn’t back up already.

Other than the photo sessions, there wasn’t a lot of happiness in my weekend. We had a birthday party to attend on Saturday. It was fun considering I got to socialize with adults, but hubby wasn’t feeling all that great (I think he really just wanted an excuse to come home & play Black Ops, but whatever…) & after a while I started feeling not-so-great myself. The kids had a blast though. Of course, anywhere there’s cake & candy, there is always a good time to be had by the chil’renz.

Sunday was a craptastic day. I wake up to dog pee (how loud can you say Eeew?) on my couch (!!!!!!!!!) & this giant mess in my kids’ rooms that doesn’t even make sense considering hubby & I took all the girls’ toys so they have nothing in there but clothes & blankets, yet somehow they still manage to make their bedroom look like a tornado flew through it. There was laundry once again piled up in the floor of my newly cleaned bathroom (there are hampers RIGHT THERE people – how hard is it to use them?)…I’ve really had it with the Susy Homemaker stuff.

Li’l J spent almost the entire day cleaning up his room while the girls ran around helping in various places. Thankfully, hubby helped me with the dishes, folding some laundry, spraying all kinds of cleaning chemicals on the couch, getting the living room rearranged and sweeping.

It was just one of those days…I spent it cleaning (or half-assed attempting to anyway) & feeling extra-extra cranky. The shampooer stopped working so even after all that spraying down of the couch, we couldn’t shampoo it off so now it smells like a chemical plant exploded up in my house. I think my nose has been thoroughly sanitized. I may have aquired some *more* brain damage folks!

I can say that two really cool things happened though:

A.) My sister got a new laptop from her husband for her birthday and she downloaded Skype so we finally got to video chat! That was pretty awesometastical…she got to watch me sweep & do dishes…lucky, lucky girl.

B.) My hubby & I made it to 9 years together! Seven married, but I still remember the day we started dating because it was my sister’s 18th birthday so it’s kind of like a small double-celebration for me. We’ve had our ups & downs (& will continue to, I’m sure), but we just keep on goin’! Apparently, he thinks I’m worth the effort 😉 (Smart man…) I kinda like (insert LOVE here) him, too.

To make up for the lack of interestingness in this post, I’ll share some funny things my kids did and said over the weekend, most of which I already shared on facebook so if you’ve heard it – forgive the repetition.

• Hubs was walking around poking his belly out on purpose to make a point about how he’d gained weight when Kira looked up at him & said “Daddy, why your belly so fat?”
• Me: Can I have a kiss, Kira? Kira: *cute laugh* Close your eyes! Me: *closes my eyes* Kira: Don’t think about it m’kay? Me: O…kay? Current Status: still waiting on my kiss 😦
• Saturday morning I woke up to my sweet little girls singing “The Farmer in the Dell.” Krysta made a slight revision. Instead of saying “the farmer takes a wife” she said “the farmer takes a life, the farmer takes a life…”
• Li’l J: Mom, I want to show you a trick!! But, I’m gonna need some metal….  Me: *confused cockerspaniel face*
• We had hotdogs and chips for lunch one day over the weekend. Kira kissed each one of her chips before she ate them.♥
• I wish I had video of this next thing. My son was listening to music from my computer over the weekend and it appears he is a pro at playing air guitar on the country songs. I can’t believe I didn’t grab a camera for that, but you can be sure I will next time! Also, he really loves this song:

Before I go, a quick question that has nothing to do with this post:

Who watches The Voice? (Love this show!) Who did you vote for in the first live show from each team!? 

 

 

June 13, 2011 by Bad Blogger Categories: Family, UncategorizedTags: air guitar, birthday, black ops, chat, chicken and biscuits, clean, colt ford, couch, cute, dirt, excuse, family, funny, grrrr, kids, kiss, laptop, laugh, music, pee, photo, poo, school, scream, skype, smile, the voice, video, weekend Leave a comment

Scooby Doo, Business & Temporary (or not) Male Idiocy

Busy, busy weekend!!

We had our son’s birthday party finally. His birthday was May 24th, but we couldn’t afford to do the party thing until the 4th of June. He didn’t care! 🙂

Luckily, he also didn’t notice or care that his mom is so not a hostess. I do not throw parties or any type of social function well. I don’t prepare well enough and I am not all Susy-Homemaker-come-inside-and-have-tea-and-coffee-cakes-ish…none the less, it wasn’t a total bomb (even though I did bomb myself with several water balloons before they even made it to the actual “water-balloon” stage…more on that later). Thanks to everyone who came – you rock!!

And thanks to Shamila for this amazing cake you made on incredibly short notice – extra love for you!!

Next year, we should be home for birthdays and I intend to put a lot more planning into the event (or to beg/request/hire or otherwise coerce someone else into doing it). <— Diabolical Plan A. <—–

I didn’t get that many pictures because I was busy running back and forth doing party related things, but I have a couple others to share. Hubby cutting the cake – see his tongue of concentration?

It’s kinda hard to see it, but believe me, it’s there. 🙂 Also notice how it looks as if Scooby has rabies – see him foaming at the mouth? Cool stuff, huh?

And then there’s a squinty eyed photo of the birthday boy. We were supposed to have a storm on the day of his party, but it was nice and sunny out (and HOT!)…I was so thrilled!! After the party was over, the clouds rolled in and we had some rain, but nothing like the real storms we have in the states. Oh, how I miss those.

Friday I had a mini photo shoot with a friend and got some really cute shots of her daughter in her T-Ball uniform. The girl is such a sass – I really can’t wait to show off a photo or two if her mom will let me! I’ve also been working on a session I did a couple of months ago with another friend. I needed someone to do a boudoir shoot for promotional purposes and she happily obliged, but ever since then, it feels like I’ve been swamped with work (which is a GREAT thing!) so I haven’t been able to work on them as steadily as I’d like between other shoots. I realized I would never get them all done and back to her if I didn’t just work straight through on them and treat them like any other paid session so I’ve started work on them again and I won’t stop until they’re all done. I can’t believe I actually thought I would be able to get them done in between the other paid sessions, but whatever – I’m correcting my mistake now and in the future, all promotional shoots will be processed, edited and back to my awesome helpers in the same timely fashion as everyone else. I’m learning on a trial and error basis here 🙂

Other business-related things I’ve been learning through trial and error: Pricing. What a bitch. Really.

So I found these great articles online (one HERE & one HERE if you’re interested in the help for yourself!) to help me finally set my pricing where it should be once we get back to the states. While living on post in Germany, because of certain rules and regulations, I can’t actually “charge” for my services, but I can accept donations. But, once we get back stateside, I want to start with REAL pricing where it should be for the area I plan to work in. Of course, I still have to fill out the paperwork to get my state license there & I desperately want to take some business courses, but once that’s complete I want to get started working right away.

So, I’m sitting here at the computer trying to figure this pricing thing out while also thinking about my son’s birthday party (2 things I don’t recommend anyone try to focus on at once) and I came across this section about figuring out the depreciation value of your equipment in order to factor that into your pricing. Part of figuring that out is finding out how many pictures you’ve taken total on your camera. I looked and found out that I have over 28,000 actuations (or shutter clicks) on my camera out of a possible 150,000 before my camera starts to malfunction. I’ve only had it since Feb. 2010 and I discovered that on average, in one year alone, I took 26,000+ pictures! (Note to self: start saving for a back-up camera NOW!) And I thought “maybe I should take James’ party pictures with the point & shoot instead.” (To save my DSLR for photo shoots). That was the moment I knew I was thinking about this photography thing more in terms of a business rather than a personal thing that I do for the love and the fun of it. It’s a scary thought…knowing that I’m getting closer and closer to making a justifiable business out of what started out as a hobby. I’m kinda terrified to take that next big leap.

On another note:

Men say the dumbest things at the worst possible times. That is all I have to say about that. Let your imagination fill in the blanks as I’m sure we all have our own “ridiculous man stories.”

Tomorrow is my lovely sister’s birthday so I will be making a post just for her instead of doing the Tutorial Tuesday’s thing. I should have known that other things would conflict with my brilliant idea to only do those on Tuesdays. I’m not a “schedules” and “routines” kinda girl; yet another daunting area of the business endeavor because I have to learn to be very organized and scheduled considering I won’t have the funds to pay someone else to be those things for me 🙂

I’ll get another tutorial posted this week when I can. I have some boudoir photos to finish before I can even think about anything else. Once again, thanks for reading my “brain seepage.”

Have you ever gotten more water on yourself filling up water balloons than you did while playing with them? What fantastical things happened over your weekend? Care to share some dumb things you’ve heard men say?

June 6, 2011June 9, 2011 by Bad Blogger Categories: Blog Pimp, Family, Photography, UncategorizedTags: 2011, 7, birthday, boudoir, brain seepage, business, cake, concentration, donations, family, germany, helpers, hobby, idiocy, idiot, kids, love, male, men, photography, prices, pricing, scooby doo, sister, stupid, sunny, volunteers, weekend, work 3 Comments

Allergies Doctor? Yes. You.

Happy After-Memorial-Day-Weekend Wednesday!

Yup, it took me this long to recover. And no, it was not because I drank my way through it and had to take Tuesday to deal with a massive hangover. My mind was blank; I didn’t know what to write about. Imagine that – me, having nothing to write about. But, it’s true.

Not so quick recap of the weekend:

Thursday morning hubby was admitted to the hospital. They wanted to keep him longer, but he asked to be released on Sunday and so he was. It wasn’t like they were doing anything for him anyway aside from keeping him more drugged up than he’s normally allowed to be. I’m glad his pain was reduced during that time, but I’m not thrilled that the only thing he ever gets is pain meds when he should be going through physical therapy and not relying on a cane to walk all the time. I would explain my logic behind that – and maybe I still will one of these days – but right now it’s just too much to get into and I’m already worked up about the whole thing. If I start writing about it now, you will never get me to shut up.

All the pills my husband is currently taking. Keep in mind each square is only for one day. Agree or disagree: these idiots are going to kill him.

I will tell you that he has Complex Regional Pain Syndrome which is just a fancy way of saying that someone is experiencing pain in a previously injured region that has since healed and doctors can find no other cause for the pain, so they think it’s all inside your head, but they don’t want to tell you that directly. So, rather than dealing with the root problem and trying to get you to rehabilitate yourself, they feel the need to dope you up on pain meds for pain they can’t find any explaination for and then wonder why the pain meds aren’t working and you’re still getting worse.

In short, some people are dumbasses.

I am allergic to dumbasses.

Sunday, after hubs got home our downstairs neighbors asked us to grill out with them. I wasn’t in the mood to socialize, but they’re so nice to invite us to do things with them and I hate letting people down so I agreed. It took me a while to actually get outside and socialize with people, but when I finally did it was fun. Hubs went to bed early, I had a few drinks and watched people more innebriated than myself pee on trees, but that’s about the extent of that. Everybody’s kids fell asleep at my house watching a movie so we let them stay there until Monday morning. When they woke up we sent them downstairs to their parents so we could get things cleaned up and decide what we were going to do for that day.

I was happy to just sit at home and be together. Read, watch movies, laugh together, whatever…but apparently, no one else wanted to do that so the day kinda sucked. Hubs played Black Ops which made me want to strangle myself, then he was in a bad mood (surprise, surprise!) which put me in a bad mood so, we kept bickering when we talked at all. It happens sometimes I guess. We watched a movie together that night so it wasn’t a total waste since the movie was funny 🙂 The kids did what kids do – played outside on the park and had just as much fun here as they would have anywhere else. That is what I love about kids. No matter where they are or what they’re doing, they can always find something fun to do.

It makes it really hard not to smile around them 🙂

Tuesday, little J stayed out of school to go back to the clinic for the millionth time about his cough/breathing trouble. If you already know the history with this or aren’t interested, you don’t need to bother reading this next section, but if you care to – read on 🙂

We’ve suspected that he has asthma for a long while now, but all his doctors kept saying he didn’t have it and there was nothing they could do about his cough, but they would suggest nebulizer treatments for his breathing. It helped, but after you have to do that continuously for so many years (6 to be exact) every single time he gets sick, even with something as simple as a common cold, it gets monotonous & frustrating. I was sick of having to keep him out of school or else having him sent home from school because of the cough and one time he got sent home because he genuinely couldn’t breathe. I think it was an honest-to-goodness asthma attack, but the school nurse insisted he didn’t have asthma because she didn’t hear any wheezing. He was diagnosed with chronic bronchitis and given albuteral inhalers as well as some other medicine, but that got better and he still had the same breathing problems without so much of the cough.

We took him back to the doctor. Again. Sick of having to make such frequent trips and not getting lasting results, we asked for a referral to a lung specialist and were told it was put in for us and we would recieve an email with the appointment date and address of the place we were supposed to take him to on the German economy. We waited a couple weeks and it never came. Hubs checked on it, was told to wait a little longer. We waited 2 more weeks and the referral never came. Finally, Monday night little man woke up having difficulty breathing again. We took care of that, but kept him out of school Tuesday to go back to the clinic yet again, get him seen and check on his referral. This is where it makes me even more angry. First, they wouldn’t make an appointment for him at the clinic because they have changed the way they do appointments. A nurse has to assess your symptoms over the phone before you can get an appoinment which is really stupid for several reasons. One of which being that there are too many symptoms that match more than one illness and it’s ridiculous to hinge someone’s health-care on whether or not a nurse thinks your current symptoms (that she can’t see for herself – only hear about!) are worthy of a doctor’s visit. I hate this place more and more everyday because of stupidity like that.

Anyway, we find out that his referral was not sent off over a month ago when it should have been. They sent it off only 2 weeks ago (the 2nd time we checked on its progress and they told us to just keep waiting). It was sitting in London, where all Tri-care referrals go to from here, waiting to be filled. The tri-care people at the clinic called London and got our appointment for us (which is great, of course), but I’m just pissed that it took them so long when it didn’t have to.

Here’s the other part that makes me ill, but also a bit relieved at the same time. James saw a different doctor yesterday (civilian, not military) that confirmed he does have asthma and perscribed him more inhalers. One to take twice a day and the other for emergencies. It makes me ill because I’ve had a feeling that was his problem all along and no one would acknowledge it, but relieved because at least now we know for sure instead of getting a “he doesn’t have asthma, but I can’t tell what he does have.” The only time we didn’t get that response before now was when we were told he had bronchitis, but he’s been to the doctor countless times for the same symptoms and nothing conclusive ever came out of the other visits.

UGH, I will be so glad when we get back home. I’ve had enough of this place and the Army.

I apologize for my multitude of bitchy posts lately. I’m not getting enough sunshine. Yes, that’s a crap excuse, but that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it! I already have my next post planned and Mrs. Bitchtastical did not get an invite to the party this time!

Anyone else allergic to dumbasses or stupid people? I would love to make this a quantifiable allergy so we can petition to have these allergens removed from our environment. It’s not like pollen – you can’t just suck ’em up with an air purifier & take some allegra – but, I was thinking something along the lines of moving them to “Dumbass Island.” I’m all about the compromises that make everybody happy!

June 1, 2011June 1, 2011 by Bad Blogger Categories: Family, UncategorizedTags: bitchtastical, black ops, dumbass, family, germany, holiday, home, idiots make me itch, rant, stupid, weekend 1 Comment

Brain Diarrhea: Cerebral Seepage That Leaks To The Fingertips

I mean this with my whole heart; seriously, you have no idea. No one in the history of blogging has ever been happier to type these words:

HAPPY FREAKIN’ FRIDAY EVERYBODY!!!

This week could not end fast enough for me. Those of you who read my last post can probably attest to that. Even though this week isn’t technically over, Friday brings with it that sense of a close because usually, you know you’re getting a break – however short-lived – from the rest of your usual mundane weekly activities and stresses. Or at least that’s the idea of a weekend anyway. I have a shoot on Saturday, but the majority of my weekend will be spent either inside my house or at the hospital because that is where my husband *still* is. The doctors have decided to keep him through the weekend to see if they can find out what’s going on with him and why he’s having such acute pain. Send good vibes people 🙂

*hums Good Vibrations even though I don’t really know the words or even what it’s about* <—Rest assured I will google that as soon as I finish this post. I hate to be the ignorant one at the party. And also, my mind goes to the gutter every time I think of the title so the only way to rectify this is to find out the real meaning. For my GB people – raise your hand if you chuckled – even if it was inwardly – when you read the word “rectify.”

Now that you know what my less than thrilling non-plans are for the weekend, what are your plans for Memorial Day Weekend?

I know a lot of people will do nothing in particular except enjoy the day off work (nothing wrong with that, of course) while others will spend it doing something to honor those that have given their lives in the service of our country or else celebrating the freedom that these people have afforded us.

Some of us might even do all of those at the same time. *Gasp*

Whatever you do, try to take a moment to at least remember that you’re freedom was bought and paid for by someone else who had/has a family that they aren’t getting to be lazy out of work with or celebrate with. Just take time to appreciate what you’ve got and some of the things that made it possible for you to have it.

And now off of that heart-wrenching and depressing subject! I’m not good at these posts that make your heart go all gooey…

I’ve been reading!!

Those of you that know me are not surprised. Those of you that don’t really know me don’t care and I don’t blame you. But I promise you I am not going to start talking about what I’ve been reading and my insignificant thoughts on what the undercurrent of the whole thing is. My purpose for telling you I’ve been reading is to share with you that I had an epiphany while reading. Funny how epiphanies only come when you’re fully engaged in some other activity that has absolutely no relevance to the epiphany you’re having. But none the less, I find it amusing when people say they’ve had epiphanies and always wonder what brought it on. Since I don’t know what brought mine on, I figured the next best thing was sharing what I was doing when it occurred. Also, I really like to say the word “epiphany.” Should I ever have another child I have decided I will name him or her Epiphany. It better be a girl because a boy named Epiphany? Are you kidding me – that kid will get slaughtered in school and I won’t be able to apologize enough or buy him a car that is badass enough to make up for that. But, I’m not having anymore kids so the point is moot.

*Some male soul that has yet to be born is thanking God that he’s not destined to be my kid right now*

So, have I said the “E” word enough for you to start thinking “alright, alright! Either tell us what your miraculous revelation was or shut the hell up!” yet?

Good.

Here it comes….

Drum roll…Just play the damn thing to satisfy my need for a climatic effect. (Or don’t – after all, how the hell will I know?)

It is not a bad thing to NOT be 100% satisfied.

Bit of a let-down as far as epiphanies go isn’t it? But allow me to explain.

I recently got into a conversation with someone about this topic of never being satisfied. Their opinion is one that the majority of people I’ve talked to tend to share: that’s it’s bad to never be completely satisfied because somehow it makes you greedy or unsettled (as in nothing is ever good enough) which isn’t an attractive trait in anyone. I get that view-point and I respect it. But I’m offering a different vantage point.

I think it’s great to not always be totally satisfied with everything (to a certain degree) because something could always be better. If you’re a good writer, work to be a great one. If you’re a great photographer, painter, mother, father, accountant, teacher, ect, ect (the list goes on) work your ass off to be an excellent one. You could always go that extra step up if you want to and there is nothing wrong with wanting that. It is off-putting when you meet someone who is constantly bitching about how their life is so horrible when all you can think about is the number of people who would absolutely love to live a life like theirs. I’m not talking about being a bitter, unhappy whore. I’m talking about loving what you already have, but feeling a need not to settle where you’re at – to consistently work toward making it greater than it already is.

If you’ve got 100% of everything you could ever want or ask for in the world, then what keeps you going? We’re human – aren’t we always endlessly searching for something? We always have something to strive for, something that we’re driving to achieve in our lives so if we already have everything and we’re 100% satisfied with it, where are we going from there?

I’m not saying that logic applies to everything or everyone. Certainly, if the one thing you’ve wanted all your life is a family and you finally get that – by all means, be satisfied with it. Don’t keep trying to search for something bigger or better and ignore the greatness that is right in front of you, but do keep growing and working on those relationships, talents, interests, ect. so that they become better and stronger than before. I guess that’s my point – some people equate satisfaction with complacency. Just because you got your dream doesn’t mean you can’t do things to make it more fulfilling or make your relationships stronger and more lasting. Be satisfied…be content, but not complacent.

Maybe that isn’t some big revelation for the rest of you, but it kinda is for me. I’ve got all these wonderful things in my life. A great husband, awesome kids, the start of what looks like it could turn into an exciting career, supportive family and friends…and yet, even though I have all those amazing things I’ve always felt like there’s something missing in my life; some hole that I’ve yet to fill.

And I have always felt relentlessly guilty for feeling that way.

I have no reason to complain or be unhappy with anything so why should I ever have moments where I feel empty or incomplete when my life is obviously so full of fantasticalness?! It’s ridiculous!

Except it’s not ridiculous. Everyone feels that way at times and I’m finally realizing that it’s okay. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my family and that I’m not grateful for the life I have. It just means I have a need to perfect that which is not perfect in my life. And that’s everything. And it’ll never be done because nothing will ever be perfect which means that I will never lack purpose because I will always have some new goal that I can strive to achieve!

If I decide I want to take up a new hobby (as if I don’t have enough of them already), there’s no reason why I shouldn’t. If I need to do something that is just for me, there’s no reason to feel bad about it later. I guess you could take this whole thing to extremes and blow it out of proportion, so I think it bears repeating: I’m not talking about being excessive and being so unsatisfied with your life that you make the people in it feel like they’re worthless and mean nothing to you. I’m not trying to give anyone the impression that we should always get everything we want. I’m talking about a happy medium; realizing that you can’t have everything, but not feeling guilty about still wanting a little bit more out of your life even if it’s fantastic as is.

I’m sorry – that was a ridiculously long mind poop. I had no idea I had diarrhea of the brain…I thought it was just going to be a small, 2-minute poop. Not a 30 minutes and flush twice kinda poop. Also, sorry for the poop references. It seems the diarrhea is still going strong in here 😉

May 27, 2011 by Bad Blogger Categories: Family, Photography, UncategorizedTags: amusing, drum roll, epiphany, friday, good vibrations, human, life, memorial day, muse, music, people, photography, poop, revelation, weekend 4 Comments