If You Want To Change The World…

Dear Kids,

You are growing up in a crazy world. Sometimes it’s crazy beautiful and sometimes it’s just plain crazy. The difference is really all in your perspective. You will grow up hearing words  & phrases like “feminism,” “women’s rights,” “human rights,” “climate change,” “back the blue,” “black lives matter,” “all lives matter,” & proclamations of “let’s make America great again!” These things will mean something different to each person who says them. I won’t dive into all of that today, but there are a few things I want you to know about a few of these words which will permeate this part of your life & profoundly affect the way you experience & perceive the world around you.

ct-womens-march-national-pg-20170121Recently, there have been a series of marches and protests happening around the country, all for one cause or another, some peaceful and some not. You may have heard about it. Your kids – should you choose to have them –  may learn about it in school one day; this is your history in the making. For the rest of this post I’m just going to assume you’ll one day have a family of your own. If you decide not to, that’s okay, but to drive home my point, I’m totally going to use my future grandchildren. 😉 (If the word “children” doesn’t apply to you, maybe substitute nieces and nephews? I know how literal you 3 can be. *sigh*)

One day you will be faced with the responsibility that every generation before you has faced; the responsibility to enact positive change for the next generation. It might sound irrelevant to you when you consider how fortunate you already are and how much you already have. It might sound like a pretty big deal. It may sound almost unachievable for one person. So, how do you do it?

Do you make signs and march? Protest? Riot, rally in anger, preach in righteousness, fight…? Maybe you’ll feel like your voice is best heard in a group because how can just one person – or even two people – make a positive impact on any part of the world?

images-3I just want you to know you can & I’m going to tell you how. I don’t personally believe that real, effective change is brought about in crowds yelling, inciting anger, violence, fear, & hate. Or yet in silent, peaceful crowds carrying signs about love. It makes a statement, sure…but what kind of statement? Some people are just really good at making speeches or signs and can make you buy what they’re selling regardless of your own convictions. If you don’t do anything else I ever tell you, at least do this: know that you are only responsible for yourself. Learn what you can from history & verify it for yourself rather than taking other people at their word just because they can make it sound good. Evaluate the words and actions of others for yourself. Study. Watch. Listen. Get your own facts, your own references. Just as you take responsibility for yourself, let the ones around you take responsibility for themselves. Do not ever let another person dictate your beliefs for you. Make choices you can be proud of.

You can’t make anyone do anything. You cannot make 100% of the people happy 100% of the time so you need to be able to live with the choices you make. You probably won’t cause huge cooperations or groups of people to change their beliefs, or their approach no matter how many people you rally, especially if their main concern is the money they’re making. This is because real change is a personal responsibility rather than a global one. It starts small & ripples out slowly over time, affecting one person at a time beginning with yourself.

Change starts with you. It has a ripple effect in regard to what you teach your children; if you want to change the world, start with your world.


Feminism is simply a belief in equality, yet our society has bastardized it and given it some incredibly negative connotations. What are women really saying when they walk around with their shirts off yelling about being ‘nasty women?’ How does this help? Are they really ‘taking back the power?’ Really think about that. What does that even mean? How does excluding certain women send the message ‘we are all equal.’ That, in my opinion, certainly doesn’t communicate anything reminiscent of equality. It is a contradiction to everything they claim to stand for. Your time would be better spent at home teaching your children the value of kindness, chivalry, self-respect; teaching them to set standards & boundaries for themselves so that they can make positive choices in their own lives, thus eventually rippling into the hearts and minds of others.

“Black Lives Matter.” Of course they do. “All Lives Matter.” Unequivocally. I find it abhorrent that after everything we’ve been through in this country, after everything generations before us have fought for, we still live in a time where this distinction is necessary. How can you change this? Not by blaming or segregating, but by teaching your children to choose their friends based on the content of their character and nothing else.

Climate Change. I believe it’s a thing; some do not. Your beliefs regarding its validity make little to no difference when you consider that there are things we could be doing to help preserve and protect our environment whether you believe in the effects of climate change or not. If we all recycled, used less energy or more solar energy, turned the water off while brushing our teeth, unplugged appliances we aren’t actively using, turned off the lights and the TV when we left the house (your dog doesn’t care about The View, I promise), put our trash in the trash can or a recycling bin instead of tossing it on the ground, etc. not only would you see a decrease in your bills, but you’d be helping to ensure the future of our planet. These small choices we make daily have the biggest impact. Teach your children to respect and care for their environment and your beliefs about climate change become irrelevant; you’re doing your part for the world you want your kids to inherit & you’re teaching them to do theirs. That’s all there is.

So, let me say it again:

Change starts with you. It has a ripple effect in regard to what you teach your children; if you want to change the world, start with your world.

16194956_1240064922755969_8824124583631119672_nNo amount of sign-holding, marching, yelling, fear-mongering or hate-speech will ever effect the kind of positive change people talk about wanting to see in the world. Nor do I  personally believe that tolerating and accepting everything & everyone is the appropriate response. I don’t tolerate racism, rapists, abusers or manipulators. I don’t tolerate people who would treat me as less than simply because of the color of my skin or my gender. I don’t tolerate people who mistreat my family and friends. Does that mean I’m going to go blow up a prison, get a group together to beat up someone I don’t like, or put on a mask and become a vigilante? Of course not (I’m not nearly as good a shot as the Green Arrow anyway). I won’t be burning down buildings because I don’t believe in the politics or ethics of that business or group of people; I’ll simply stop buying their product. I’ll never walk around topless yelling about my lack of rights and if I wanted to do that, I wouldn’t do it in America where I HAVE RIGHTS (but that’s a different post). You’ll never find me disrupting traffic & stopping people from going to work just because I’m angry & want the people around me to feel angry, too.

you-teach-people-how-to-treat-you-quoteWhat I will do is make choices to ensure these types of people are as far removed from myself and my family as is within my power, & I will do my best to teach you – my children – what it means to be people of character & integrity.  I will teach you to walk away from people & situations which make you feel inferior. I will teach you to choose your friends wisely, to sit with the lonely kids at lunch, to offer help to those in need, to get outside your comfort zone & not to place ridiculous standards or restrictions on yourself. I will teach you about humility. I will teach you about respect, both for yourself and others. I will teach you to apologize when you should & how to recognize when there is nothing to apologize for. I will teach you to work hard, to earn rather than expect. I will teach you to lead by example, & even, sometimes, to follow. I will teach you to share, to give freely, to speak kindly, & love fiercely.

You are not sheeple & you do not have to flow with the status quo; you always have a choice. You have a miraculous gift, both common to all people & still uniquely individual: it’s called a brain. Use it.

Not to sound like a cliche’ or anything, but…


Mom – xoxo



The Mystery of The Harry Potter Booger Vulture

Remember how I was talking about how funny being a mom is? Well, I’m back with another example. I was cleaning my kids’ bathroom when I looked to the wall opposite the toilet and I saw this:

boogervultureWe’re calling it the “Booger Vulture,” but really it could be anything. Someone even suggested it resembles Harry Potter on his broom stick which I can totally see. As a huge Harry Potter fan, I’m considering leaving it there as a decoration. Maybe it’s even magical? (I do know it pulls paint off like magic when scrubbed upon).

In honor of parental weirdness & the unconventional, grossly improvisational art utensils of children, I’m taking a poll. As you can clearly see, this is a matter of utmost importance, the likes of which all the world depends on you casting your vote. The encouragement and creativity of children is at stake here. I need you all to lend your voices to this discussion or else the world shall never know whether this is indeed a Booger Vulture, Harry Potter or something etched on the wall from poop. The children need you (to cast your vote). Results will be posted on a(n as yet undetermined) day.



Dear Females; Part 1

I’ve been working on trying to shorten my posts. As an exercise (& also because I think more people should read the following) I am reblogging one of my old posts in shorter sections. This is the beginning of a Learn How To Blog Shorter & More Efficiently workshop that I am both teaching & attending all on my own. I want to be able to get to the point in 50 million words or less. So far, it doesn’t look promising. So, here goes – I’ve broken it up and I’ll be posting a section a day until the whole (unbearably long) post is up again in its entirety.

Dear Females;

Yes, it’s that time again. Get out your boxing gloves ladies. It’s gonna be a long fight.

I did promise I would post “Dear Women,” but in thinking about it, I realized that I have far too many things to say to those of the female persuasion that are not, in fact, women. Yet.

I have some teenage readers & I simply cannot pass up the potential to have an impact on your impressionable young minds so I will be speaking to you first.

You see…you’re all idiots.

Am I saying that I’m the brightest crayon in the box? Absolutely-friggin’-not.

I’ve just learned a few things in my long short semi-medium life span that I want to share. Pay attention and you just might learn something. I know old people always say that, but seriously – all that gray in their hair? – it’s pure wisdom, I’m tellin’ ya! I can’t wait until all my hair turns gray. Or better yet, white. I totally want white hair. It’s like a monument to one’s incredibly wise knowledge of life and a free pass to tell everyone you know to go screw themselves for no other reason in the world except that you’re 80 years old and you’ve earned the right. I want to be known as the coolest grandmother in existence aside from my own. Until I get to that point where I’m sitting in an adult diaper drooling and rambling about goats, but I’m choosing not to focus on that part right now.

Right now, I’m choosing to focus on my belief that most girls between the ages of 12-20 something (disregard the fact that I’m 26…I was an idiot, too, but I like to think I’m growing out of that particular character trait, teehee!) are big ol’ idiot air-heads! You make straight As in school? Oh well, then…excuse me smarty pants! That’s not the kind of idiot I’m talking about. I am talking about the kind of idiot that followsBOYS around like little lost puppies, not realizing or acknowledging the fact that girls have all the powerYou don’t have to follow that boy around or do or be anything that you are not just because he wants you to be.

When I say you have all the power, that is not just talk. (Or writing or typing or whatever some of you overly-analytical know-it-alls would call it.)

I mean it. YOU have ALL the POWER! (That goes for you adult chicks, too :P )

I purposely overemphasized those words because you need to get it through your heads. Girls own the entire world. Sorry, guys, but it’s true and I can back it up.

Remember the Spice Girls and they’re whole “Girl Power” deal? They might be irrelevant now, but the idea that girls are powerful, strong, independent and can whoop any man’s tale – that will never be irrelevant or obsolete in the United States. We really do own the world. Or we can if some of us would grow out of our ignorance and just embrace the fact that we’re totally awesome :) And superior.

*Before I back up my bold claims, however; I’m going to give you a day to think about what I’ve just said. We’ll resume our regularly scheduled lesson tomorrow. It begins with The Disclaimer.